Our New Family

We have all been busy with Lego!




This is our new Faaaaamily



Maggie the Maaaagnetic just hanging around.




Darren the Draaaaagon, Welsh.



Buzz Light Sheep - up, up and awaaaaaay. (splat!)



Josh the Jelly - after an unfortunate accident in the lab he now glows in the dark and goes blup.



Robert the Robot - he's an off road sheep, then again, most are!



Pete the pack sheep - handy for supermarket runs. - and we don't mean down the toilet!

Sorry about the jokes! We haven't done much all week and it was the best we could do

Telephones

Telephones have been the cause of a lot of problems in our house. Well, as Ram would say, the problem isn't his, it is mine for wanting to use them!

He has always hated me being on the telephone from a very young age. He did once answer it for me, but only to pick it up and slam it down again!

After a scary incident where he tried to attack someone when I answered the telephone, (it would have been me if I was beside him, but I went into another room, so he tried to attack Debbie the Hoover with a Stanley knife) we made the agreement that I would no longer use the telephone except for very short and necessary business calls.

I have occasionally been able to have phone calls with friends, usually very early in the morning before he is awake, or when I have respite care. Even then, he will come and constantly interrupt me.

When stories of how very young children ring the emergency services and save the lives of parents, I always feel a little sad, as I have tried to show Ram how to use the phone, but he won't have any off it.

So imagine my huge surprise the other day when he came outside while I was picking vegetables for supper, and gave me a message!

I was stunned!

He told me that Ursula (the mother of his friend Banana) had rung from a charity shop to ask if I wanted some knitting needles and he had told her that I was outside and that she could call back in a few minutes, and then told me that she would call in about five minutes.

I couldn't quite believe that he had actually answered the phone, so I started to clarify it, but Ram immediately got upset. I so wanted to give him a big hug and say well done, but he was having nothing of that. He was nearly in tears!

Ursula did ring a few minutes later, and told me that she had started to leave a message on the answering phone, and that Ram had picked up the phone, and had a very good conversation with her. He was very clear, had a good telephone manner, and was able to tell her where I was and how long I was going to be!

It was so frustrating not to be able to praise Ram but every time I tried to mention it he got really upset.

Finally as we went to bed I was able to talk to him about it. Apparently he heard her mention knitting needles, and he was eager for me to get a replacement for the one he had lost, so he answered to help sort that out.

I was so amazed! I did share this with another friend who has a boy not only almost exactly the same age as Ram, but also the same characteristics, and she said that her son did the same last year. Out of the blue he answered the phone, and took a message and relayed it correctly!

I emailed this friend back saying that I hoped it wasn't a one off. She replied that she hadn't wanted to deflate my excitement by telling me that indeed it had been a one off with her son!

So I am under no illusions that this may be the one and only time he answers the phone, and that he only did it because he felt guilty about losing a knitting needle, but at least I know that he can do it, and that if I do ever collapse, hopefully he will be able to ring the emergency services for me.


PS. I think I should just add that Ram claims that he didn't lose the knitting needle. We just can't find it, and just because previously he has been taking my knitting needles to scratch his feet with, doesn't mean to say that this time it was his fault that it went missing. As a fair mother I am accepting his story, and therefore my entry above is slightly inaccurate: Ram didn't lose the knitting needle, but he was still rather eager to help me get the new one!

Learning Through Bob

I know I haven't talked about Christmas yet, and I will do so soon, but I just wanted to tell you how Ram has been learning though Bob, his little stuffed sheep.

I wrapped up a little 'make your own model of an ant kit' for Bob as a Christmas present. It makes one of these four inch ant models. Ram decided to make it for Bob today. It was pretty simple and I asked Ram if he had read the instruction sheet with it which tells you what the parts are and how they work.

He said sort of, so I suggested that he read it aloud to Bob as Bob can't read and it was his present. And not only did he agree, he was so very good at it!

He read each section, then showed Bob the part they were talking about!

Afterwards, I asked Bob if he understood it all, and Bob (with the help of Ram's hand) said no. So I asked if he could ask Ram and would Ram explain it to him, and Bob said yes!

I was so proud of my boy! He may not have wanted to learn about ants but he was happy to teach Bob about them!

He also learned something about sheep today. On of the ewes next door, called Holly, gave birth to twins in the paddock behind us. Ram and the Dxh were out there so the farmer called them over. They missed the first one coming out but they saw the second one and some of the afterbirth. They stayed and watched them for quite a while, then I came out and had a look. It was fun watching the little ones looking for the teets. They headbutt up and down and even tried to latch onto the ewe's neck, but eventually one of them found the right place.

We left them for a while, then went back with the farm people to have a look. As it was cold out, they were taking them into the barns by wheelbarrow. Ram suggested that we call them Red and Yellow as one was still a bit bloody and red and the other was well licked and yellow! The traffic light twins!

We never know from one day to the next what new information we will learn!

My Boy is Growing Up

It was a very hectic day for the adults of the house, but Ram was busy too. Busy learning new skills and consolidating others.

It was respite day so the Dxh arrived at 10 and I went out to do the last monthly shop before Christmas. While in bed I told Ram that if there was anything that he was expecting in his stocking he needed to tell me now, and I also needed to know if there was anything special that he wanted to eat on Christmas day.

Often he just assumes that I know these things and then gets upset when they don't appear!

After a little thought he informed me that he didn't want an orange in his, he would prefer a lemon because they are more acidic! I said that would be fine but then we went through all the different types of citrus fruit and how they taste.

Then he went on to say that the special thing he wanted to eat on Christmas day was Rise Krispie Squares! So easy and simple to make, and can be done ahead of time. But I will have to hide them so he doesn't eat them before the day!

I then went off to shop while the Dxh and Ram played. It was very busy and it took me a long time to get a parking spot (in rural areas, although those that live in town can walk, most people have to drive into town) and the shops were more crowded than usual. And yet in Somerfield they kept saying that they would be open on Boxing Day and New Year's Day as well as until late every night! So I am not sure what the rush is all about!

When in the green grocer's I bought one of each citrus fruit they had, so hopefully over the next week or so we can get Ram to try them all. He seems so much more open to new things just at the moment.

After lunch Dxh started working on the underfloor heating that wasn't working quite right. We suspected that the motorised valves were gummed up with lime scale, so I read aloud to Ram while he worked in the next room, occasionally going into help. Ram didn't mind much because he was really busy making a Christmas present for Bob, his cuddly sheep!

I don't think Ram has ever thought about someone else in that way, and certainly hasn't made something on his own accord for someone else before. Mind you, it is Lego! It is a Lego weapon suit. I can't show a photo of it because we then wrapped it!

Ram said that most amazing thing while we were choosing the paper out of our selection of reclaimed wrapping paper. He actually said that he wanted to choose a paper that Bob would like and went though each one to find one that he thought Bob would like! Ram usually doesn't really understand about what other people want, but can only see things from his own point of view. This is a big change for him.

As the Dxh was busy with the heating, we went out and prepared to bring the tree in. Ram has never used a large saw before, so I taught him how to use the cross cut saw. It took him a few minutes to get the hang of it, and he managed to cut through half the trunk before his arm got tired. He then said another amazing thing. He said that he wasn't as good as me as he hadn't had enough practice and wasn't as strong as me!

Usually when Ram tries something if he can't do it perfectly he gives up immediately and doesn't try again saying that he is no good and will never be able to do it. But today he carried on until he was better and when I suggested that by next year he would be strong enough to cut the whole trunk off, he agreed!

My boy is growing up!

After we got the tree in we went up to see how Dxh was doing. I took apart one of the old valves to see if it was indeed lime scale that caused it to fail. We then gave Ram a quick lesson on how valves work.

It was getting on for a cup of tea time, so I went down to put the kettle on. I heard an exclamation coming from the bathroom where the boys were working, and called up to see if everything was all right. Dxh said yes, then Ram came out and said that Dad had caused an explosion and there was a bang and a flash of light but it was ok because he was still alive.

I thought he was teasing me, as he had said the same thing this morning to me. Then Dxh came down with the multimeter (measures electricity) to show me the melted tips of the probes! Ram had been telling me the truth! So Dxh had to give Ram a quick lesson in electricity! (Dxh is a registered electrician so don't worry, he does know his stuff, he just had the multimeter on the wrong setting!)

With all my men safely back downstairs (Bob had been watching but was carefully put out of range of danger) we finished setting the tree up, and put the first present under it, which of course was Bob's! Ram was really excited for Bob, which is amazing as you would think that Ram would want one of his presents to be first under the tree.

There is a definite shift in the way Ram is thinking. First he started treating a stuffed animal in a way that a toddler would, and then he started putting that animal first before his own needs.

This is all so exciting for me just like the excitement a mum feels when her toddler starts to grow up and do cute things like this.

And who knows, maybe I might be the recipient of the first present next year!

The Games We Play

We have just invented two new games. The first is called Bin Pong. Dxh and Ram invented it while outside playing on Saturday. They started with one of those really bouncy little rubber balls. Somehow, then they decided to use bin lids a 'bats' to hit it back and forth to each other along the length of the drive, hence the name Bin Pong!

Then yesterday Ram was bouncing a ping pong ball around in the house, so I dug out the ping pong bats that I had got from a charity shop many years ago 'just in case' and we started playing around with it. We cleared some space down stairs and played ping pong without the benefit of a table. Sort of whole house ping pong.

As Ram's coordination isn't the best (neither is mine!) and it was the first time he had ever played, and we weren't playing with a table, the ball was going all over the place. As it hit various things in the house it would make a pinging noise, sometimes making quite musical intervals as it bounced off things like glassware, large bowls and the milk churn.

Ram's eyes lit up as he said: 'I think we should call this Ding Dong!

So there you are, Bin Pong and Ding Dong. Two new games to play this Christmas!

The Tudors

The Tudors

ram and I have avidly been watching The Tudors on BBC1 on Friday evenings. This is another very good example of how we don't plan lessons in advance, but how autonomous home educating parents do some preparation and facilitation to help learning happen.

After the series started I noticed in The Book People's catalogue a set of 10 books called A Very Short Introduction:British History. So I ordered that and also A Very Short Introduction to Warfare.

I am not reading these to Ram at the moment, but I have them in the bathroom in my reading basket. I have been reading the one about the Tudors while the series has been running. Sometimes I read a bit out to Ram if he is in the bathroom with me, other times I just save the information for later discussion.

I know that people have said that The Tudors are not historically accurate, but we have used that too for learning. I checked out the Wikipedia page on it for the inaccuracies and that too became part of the discussions as we talked about why they changed things about.

I know that some might think that the sex in The Tudors might not make it a good choice of programme for an 11 year old. Choosing what Ram can and cannot watch started some time ago when he saw the adverts for The Matrix and wanted to watch it. I knew that Dxh had seen it and I had made a judgement about the film from the figure of the leather clad Trinity on top of his TV!

But rather than saying no to Ram, we decided to discuss with with Dxh, especially as he had seen it and I hadn't. Dxh assured me that there wasn't any kinky sex in it, which I had assumed, and although there was some violence, it was very stylised and he felt that Ram could handle it.

In discussing it with some friends one of them said something that has always stuck with me. She said it is strange how we don't want our children to grow up killing people, and yet we let them watch violence, but we do want them to grow up to make love, and yet we stop them from watching films with sex in it!

In the end Ram did watch The Matrix and I am really glad I didn't try to stop him, because for him it was a very important film. It wasn't the violence that interested him, it was the thought that this world might just be an illusion! From there we got onto some pretty heavy philosophy.

So when the Tudors came along, I decided that as I wanted him to have relationships with women, and because I know that people on the spectrum often have difficulties with relationships and sex, and because the only sex he sees around here are the ponies and sheep on the farm, I let him watch it. Again I am glad that he did. The sex wasn't embarrassing for him, as it would be for some young people, and I felt that it was appropriate sex.

And as the last episode closed he learned what coitus interruptus is. A very important lesson!

Peru

Sometimes I am asked if I plan lessons in advance. I don't think I have even planned a lesson in my life, let alone in advance! Often something unexpected comes up and we find an opertunity to learn more than we were expecting. There is certainly no 'planning in advance' but I guess there is some preparation on my part.

We have been taking a break from reading the Discworld books, and started reading Anthony Horowitz's Power of Five series. The first book just happened to take place mainly in Yorkshire, so we were familiar with a few of the settings. The second book however takes place in Peru, a country that we know very little about! What a chance for home education!

First of all, Horowitz has obviously done a lot of research, and through the book we are introduced to the shanty towns, and the wealthy. They travel through Peru to Cuzco and Nazca, and the descriptions along the way are wonderful. We got the trusty old geographical atlas that we have in the bedroom, and started following the trail.

As usual, when looking at the atlas, we turned pages and looked at the weather, the composition of the soil, precipitation, and so on. From there we went round looking for deserts that were not made of sand!

I also got onto a fellow home educator who has a boyfriend in Peru, and she gave us information about where she has been, and where she was travelling to the next week as well as a bit of an idea of what it is really like out there. From there we went back to the atlas, and also onto Google Earth.

Google Earth is a home educator's dream! We spent over an hour looking for the Inca temples, the shanty towns, and the lines in the earth at Nazca. We also looked at the social side too. In the book there is very little about the average Peruvian. We knew that there would be some very wealthy individuals, but we at first thought that their middle classes were not very weathly as we could find no swimming pools. Then, all of the sudden we found the wealthy suburbs of Lima complete with swimming pools!

One of the features of Google Earth is the photographs that you can click on. Some were the typical glossy photos of Churches, so we could study the architecture of those, but there were also a lot of plain ordinary houses in there too, which gave us a piture of what life is really like.

It was also interesting to see the overhead view of how the cities fit into the mountains, and then look at panoramic photos of the city nestling in amongst the mountain.

We were even able to tie chocolate in! Peruvian chocolate was mentioned in the book, and I found some Fair Trade Peruvian Chocolate in our local supermarket. I bought some and we all had a try of it, even Ram, who usually refuses to eat anything other than white chocolate. I was proud of him for trying it, but pleased that he didn't like it, so that I could finish the rest of the bar!

We hadn't planned to study Peru, and I had had no idea that was where we were heading, but that to us is what autonomous home education is all about; taking opportunities when they are offered.