Worth It in the End

Today was respite day so the Dxh was here to sit with Ram while I got to put my feet up, have a coffee and read a magazine, have lunch with the girls and do a spot of retail therapy.

Only joking!

I know a lot of people think that is what we do with respite days, but the reality is much grubbier than that. Today I spent it in the garden. I managed to put up the rest of the rabbit fencing to keep the blighters out of my veggies, and plant out the ones that have been in pots in the green house waiting for the fence to go up.

It isn't that people with disabled kids wouldn't like a break like that now and again, but there is so much that you can't manage to do while caring for the kids that you end up running yourself ragged when you do get a break.

But I did get one special treat today. I managed a shower before Dxh went home! I haven't had one in ages and I was so covered in mud because it had started to rain as I was finishing up in the garden, that it was really appreciated!

I also had to make a couple of phone calls so when Ram decided to play outside I got to ring the supplier of the ankle supports to find out why they haven't sent me the return information. The supports were way too big for him, and they assure me that I can return them but somehow they have failed to give me the information!

I also had to admit defeat with the veggies and order a box from the local box delivery scheme. It will be more expensive but Ram is getting more and more distressed in the green grocer so I will get the veggies delivered for a while.

Sometimes when the stress gets too much over something I find that if I remove it, and leave it for a while, he will forget how stressful it was and we will be able to do it again.

It is actually the opposite to what some professionals recommend. They say that children should be forced to face their fears and not be allowed to run away. But in our experience the increased stress of forcing them to do what they find most stressful never goes away. But if you remove the source of stress, and then reintroduce it some time later, it is actually very successful.

As for Ram, I think he had a good day with his Dad. As the weather was nice for a change he was able to play outside but he had to avoid the carpenters, so it entailed taking the long way around the house to get back inside. And amazingly, he managed a swim in the pool! It is only a 10 foot one, but when you are only 10 years old and it is filled to over flowing because of the rain, it is still exciting.

The kitchen is starting to look like a kitchen again, but it is a pain to not have facilities to prepare food. It is lucky in a way that Ram has such a limited diet because it is easy to cater for him, but I miss having space to make things for myself.

Still, like getting the veggies delivered, it will be worth it in the end!