Ram has actually been reasonably happy lately. He went through a very bad patch a couple of years ago where he was feeling suicidal. I think that must be one of the scariest things for a parent; knowing that your child is that unhappy, but not being able to help them, because they don't have the language to talk about it.
Back then, once Ram expressed his unhappiness (while sitting on the side of the bath with a toothbrush in his hand!) I was able to look out for it. It hasn't gone away, but I can usually see when things are getting too much for him.
One thing that made our trip to York much better and left Ram feeling much happier was our friends picking us up from the station. We tried public transport last time but Ram was really distressed. This time when they dropped us at the station, because of going in the car, Ram started the journey home much less stress and much happier, which meant that he was more calm on the train.
But right now is one of those times when I have needed to be aware that he isn't too happy. He is really struggling with strangers, both here at the house and in public. This has made shopping almost impossible and even swimming has suffered.
We had lost his prescription swimming goggles before we went to York. This meant that the first week we came back we couldn't go swimming. Then we found them, about an hour after I ordered another pair of course! Luckily we managed to cancel the order in time!
Ram seemed to be looking forward to swimming but when we woke up on that morning he said he didn't feel well enough to go. We left it that week and stayed home.
Then the next week again he seemed happy knowing that he was going swimming the next day, but again he woke up feeling that he couldn't go. This time he said he was too cold!
I had a little think. He certainly had been finding it difficult going swimming. He was becoming more and more distressed in the changing room, and taking longer to settle in the pool too.
So I had a little chat with him and suggested that we take a break for a couple of weeks and then reassess the situation. He looked so relieved! Then we moved onto shopping. He has been getting The Horrible Science magazines so there has always been two reasons to go out on a Tuesday. He felt that he didn't want to get them anymore as they had extended the original term and he has grown out of them. So we agree that we would go shopping that morning, to cancel the magazines and pick up a few things we needed, and have our treat at the bakery.
Ram started out ok, but he got more and more distressed as time went on. In the end he sat in the buggy with the blanket over his head baaaaaaing like a sheep.
Good thing I am not worried about how people perceive me! When we got back to the car he was very quiet.
I let him relax and think a bit in the car, then as we were approaching the village, I said that I felt that he is much more stressed when out and about than he has been. He said that he was really having a problem with strangers, but that he thought it would be ok again in a few years time!
So we have agreed that Ram doesn't have to go shopping or swimming, or out for any other reason for a while.
After all, it is better to have him happy and at home, than to be stressed but social!
Sunday 30 September 2007
Sunday 23 September 2007
Drink,
Like with hunger, Ram has difficulty with knowing when he is thirsty. Unless I am there to put water in front of him he won't drink. And I have to be crafty sometimes. For instance, as I am typing this I have realised that he hasn't had anything to drink all day, but if I ask him if he is thirsty he will say no. So I will now go and open a bottle of fizzy water in front of him, and I bet he will reach out for it!
..........
Yep! It worked! He just had half a glass of water, without batting an eyelid!
So I know how to get water into him, but it still takes a lot of effort on my part to remember to offer him water in the right way. I also have those 'bad mum' times when I realise that I have forgotten to water him!
He does get water in other ways, mainly through frozen apple juice lollies. We freeze pressed apple juice (the cloudy type) in dripcatchers and he have free access to them – when I remember to make them!
Luckily at Ursula's place they have ice lollies too. They have a different kind, but Ram manages to cope and we had a constant routine of making and serving up the lollies. It is a very good way of making sure they drink something and fruit juice is much better than what they put into commercial ice lollies. There were some red Tom and Jerry ones we once tried, and Ram ended up on the ceiling!
I have also bought some lovely new water bottles for when we are out and about. I bought them just before we left for York to visit our friends. Ram likes to have fizzy water and it isn't always available on the train, and the old plastic fizzy drink bottle was looking very tattered, and I understand that it isn't safe to keep reusing them. Luckily the new bottles came just before we left.
We were very pleased with them. And very grateful that we had them on the train. And while visiting York! They are very light, yet strong, and they keep the water fizzy too.
When Ram was little I was always taking a bag of food and drink along with the nappies but I had sort of got out of the habit of it. I think I need to get back into the habit of always taking water with us. We recently went shopping for Lego and I was very glad we took a bottle of water with us as the bakery where we were going to buy a treat and a drink had a long queue.
I also took some to the first home ed meeting after the summer break and Ram drank the whole 600ml! I realised that he hadn't been drinking the squash that they make up for the children, and only occasionally asking me for a glass of tap water. He was much more thirsty than I had thought!
The next meeting I took the bottle again, and again he drank the whole thing. Next time I will take both bottles and see if he drinks even more.
Still, I should be grateful. Hopefully his lack of interest in drink will keep him from becoming an alcoholic!
..........
Yep! It worked! He just had half a glass of water, without batting an eyelid!
So I know how to get water into him, but it still takes a lot of effort on my part to remember to offer him water in the right way. I also have those 'bad mum' times when I realise that I have forgotten to water him!
He does get water in other ways, mainly through frozen apple juice lollies. We freeze pressed apple juice (the cloudy type) in dripcatchers and he have free access to them – when I remember to make them!
Luckily at Ursula's place they have ice lollies too. They have a different kind, but Ram manages to cope and we had a constant routine of making and serving up the lollies. It is a very good way of making sure they drink something and fruit juice is much better than what they put into commercial ice lollies. There were some red Tom and Jerry ones we once tried, and Ram ended up on the ceiling!
I have also bought some lovely new water bottles for when we are out and about. I bought them just before we left for York to visit our friends. Ram likes to have fizzy water and it isn't always available on the train, and the old plastic fizzy drink bottle was looking very tattered, and I understand that it isn't safe to keep reusing them. Luckily the new bottles came just before we left.
We were very pleased with them. And very grateful that we had them on the train. And while visiting York! They are very light, yet strong, and they keep the water fizzy too.
When Ram was little I was always taking a bag of food and drink along with the nappies but I had sort of got out of the habit of it. I think I need to get back into the habit of always taking water with us. We recently went shopping for Lego and I was very glad we took a bottle of water with us as the bakery where we were going to buy a treat and a drink had a long queue.
I also took some to the first home ed meeting after the summer break and Ram drank the whole 600ml! I realised that he hadn't been drinking the squash that they make up for the children, and only occasionally asking me for a glass of tap water. He was much more thirsty than I had thought!
The next meeting I took the bottle again, and again he drank the whole thing. Next time I will take both bottles and see if he drinks even more.
Still, I should be grateful. Hopefully his lack of interest in drink will keep him from becoming an alcoholic!
Thursday 20 September 2007
Eat
Eat
Ram and food are a bit like chalk and cheese; they don't get along, but I wouldn't put it past him to try the two together! Well, his favourite used to be Marmite and chocolate spread mixed together!
He does eat a fairly well balanced diet of foods close to their natural state, that is, not to much processed food, but he is limited in what he has.
Lately he has dropped a few things, but nothing have taken their place. So I was a bit worried about what he would eat while we were away, as well as being concerned that he is lacking in iron.
Luckily he managed to eat fairly well while we were at Ursula's house. Her two kids eat well, and will have the same things as the parents eat, and I always hope that Ram will take the hint, but he didn't. I thought we were going to have problems on the night we had fish, as it was smoked and it did smell more than his fish fingers, but he managed to stay in the same room as us!
He did try one new food. Hope made ice-cream! I have made ice-cream for him before but he has always refused it, so I was both surprised and pleased when he not only ate his own little pot of it, but managed to sneak a bit of mine too. Serves me right for chatting while eating!
So when we got home I had to order some cream from the milk man, and get the recipe from Ursula. I knew it was touch and go as to whether he would have mine at home. Luckily it went well and he loved it. I am sure that freezing it in little ramekins the way it was at Ursula's made all the difference. So now we will be having a regular order of cream!
I was still worried about his iron levels, as there isn't much he eats that contains iron and I know that when kids have a growth spurt they can get low on iron. He is pale and does run out of steam pretty fast these days. So when we were in the health food shop I got down to eye level with him (he was in the buggy) and explained that I had noticed that he was getting to be more like a vampire every day and that there was two things he could do about it. He could gnaw on an iron bar, or take some Floradix! He initially chose the iron bar of course, but after a discussion he decided that we should both take Floradix, and he chose the adult version rather than the orange flavoured on.
We have our first trial run that night at supper. He had the food ready, and a glass of water. He took the Floradix and I sat on the edge of my chair holding my breath. Slowly he put the little cup down. 'Not to bad' he said! I sighed in relief! But he does say that he has to wash it down with water and then eat something to take away the taste properly.
This is the first time I have been able to get him to take a supplement. Between that and the ice-cream, maybe he is finally learning to eat!
Ram and food are a bit like chalk and cheese; they don't get along, but I wouldn't put it past him to try the two together! Well, his favourite used to be Marmite and chocolate spread mixed together!
He does eat a fairly well balanced diet of foods close to their natural state, that is, not to much processed food, but he is limited in what he has.
Lately he has dropped a few things, but nothing have taken their place. So I was a bit worried about what he would eat while we were away, as well as being concerned that he is lacking in iron.
Luckily he managed to eat fairly well while we were at Ursula's house. Her two kids eat well, and will have the same things as the parents eat, and I always hope that Ram will take the hint, but he didn't. I thought we were going to have problems on the night we had fish, as it was smoked and it did smell more than his fish fingers, but he managed to stay in the same room as us!
He did try one new food. Hope made ice-cream! I have made ice-cream for him before but he has always refused it, so I was both surprised and pleased when he not only ate his own little pot of it, but managed to sneak a bit of mine too. Serves me right for chatting while eating!
So when we got home I had to order some cream from the milk man, and get the recipe from Ursula. I knew it was touch and go as to whether he would have mine at home. Luckily it went well and he loved it. I am sure that freezing it in little ramekins the way it was at Ursula's made all the difference. So now we will be having a regular order of cream!
I was still worried about his iron levels, as there isn't much he eats that contains iron and I know that when kids have a growth spurt they can get low on iron. He is pale and does run out of steam pretty fast these days. So when we were in the health food shop I got down to eye level with him (he was in the buggy) and explained that I had noticed that he was getting to be more like a vampire every day and that there was two things he could do about it. He could gnaw on an iron bar, or take some Floradix! He initially chose the iron bar of course, but after a discussion he decided that we should both take Floradix, and he chose the adult version rather than the orange flavoured on.
We have our first trial run that night at supper. He had the food ready, and a glass of water. He took the Floradix and I sat on the edge of my chair holding my breath. Slowly he put the little cup down. 'Not to bad' he said! I sighed in relief! But he does say that he has to wash it down with water and then eat something to take away the taste properly.
This is the first time I have been able to get him to take a supplement. Between that and the ice-cream, maybe he is finally learning to eat!
Saturday 15 September 2007
An Apology and The Play Park
I apologise to those of you who have been checking regularly for updates. Things were a bit hectic when we got back from visiting our friends. I always find that after spending a week with a choice of people to play with every day, Ram needs more hands on time with me.
In a way this is good because it has broken the pattern we had of being on the computer all day. We are now regularly playing the new card games we learned while away, reading aloud during the day and not just in bed at either end of the day, and my little vampire has discovered the great outdoors again with the help of a swing!
So what I have decided to do to catch up is to do a series of entries that are not based on a single day, but on a theme.
So the theme for this one is the play park in York.
In my last entry, August 20th, I told of how much Ram was looking forward to returning to the play park that he had been to a couple of years before, and how angry he became when we found that it was very crowded.
We didn't say anything to the children at the time because we didn't want to get their hopes up, only to be dashed by the weather, but we had made a note of the opening time of the park, and decided that if Monday was good weather we would go first thing.
Amazingly, Monday was good weather so we packed some drinks, and went off straight after breakfast. We got there 10 minutes before the play park was due to be open, but it was already open! However, as the schools had started by then, there was only a couple of people with very young children. The items that our older kids wanted to play on were free!
At first Ram didn't want to go on the round about that he so wanted to go on last time, but couldn't because there were too many people on it. However, he did relax and after a few minutes all three of them were having a good time!
By 11 o'clock more people were arriving, mostly with younger children, but never the less, it was starting to get busy. That is when the children decided they had had enough. It may only have been an hour's worth of play, but for them it was the best thing, and it was great that Ram will have a very positive memory of the play park.
When we next go to see our friends it will be January. I think the mums will have to take hot drinks, soup, and portable heater and a tent to keep themselves warm while the kids play!
In a way this is good because it has broken the pattern we had of being on the computer all day. We are now regularly playing the new card games we learned while away, reading aloud during the day and not just in bed at either end of the day, and my little vampire has discovered the great outdoors again with the help of a swing!
So what I have decided to do to catch up is to do a series of entries that are not based on a single day, but on a theme.
So the theme for this one is the play park in York.
In my last entry, August 20th, I told of how much Ram was looking forward to returning to the play park that he had been to a couple of years before, and how angry he became when we found that it was very crowded.
We didn't say anything to the children at the time because we didn't want to get their hopes up, only to be dashed by the weather, but we had made a note of the opening time of the park, and decided that if Monday was good weather we would go first thing.
Amazingly, Monday was good weather so we packed some drinks, and went off straight after breakfast. We got there 10 minutes before the play park was due to be open, but it was already open! However, as the schools had started by then, there was only a couple of people with very young children. The items that our older kids wanted to play on were free!
At first Ram didn't want to go on the round about that he so wanted to go on last time, but couldn't because there were too many people on it. However, he did relax and after a few minutes all three of them were having a good time!
By 11 o'clock more people were arriving, mostly with younger children, but never the less, it was starting to get busy. That is when the children decided they had had enough. It may only have been an hour's worth of play, but for them it was the best thing, and it was great that Ram will have a very positive memory of the play park.
When we next go to see our friends it will be January. I think the mums will have to take hot drinks, soup, and portable heater and a tent to keep themselves warm while the kids play!
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