Wednesday 28 November 2007

Some Days Are Just Too Frustrating

Today was a grey day, so after reading for a while (newspapers and birthday books) we settled down to watch some recorded TV. We were half way through the second Dispatches programme, when Ram started being silly with a large plastic coat-hanger. It was mildly annoying, but mostly I was worried that as he threw it through the air it would knock over my glass of water, so I asked him to either stop, or move else where.

I knew immediately that it was not going to work. He snapped that he wanted to watch the programme too, but didn't carry on with the coat-hanger throwing. He did however carry on being angry.

He then loaded up some Bionicle weapons that he has developed and shot me with them. It was when he got the larger weapons out and started aiming for me that I knew I had to act.

I paused the TV, and said, 'I can see that you are aiming these weapons at me, so you must be angry with me. Is it because I asked you to stop with the coat-hanger?' He thought for a moment, sat down, and said partly, but added that he just felt that things were not going right today.

I suggested that he was extra autistic this morning, almost ADHD, and maybe he needed to get rid of some energy. He brightened up and suggested that we go outside and bounce on the trampoline! I agreed, and then we both dived for the toilet! Not a good idea to bounce on a full bladder!

We then ran outside, only to find that it had just started raining! Ram was immediately furious, and not surprisingly. He already felt that the day was wrong, then just when we agreed on something to help, it went wrong again.

We got inside and he said that he wanted a punch bag so that he could kill something. I have a cut down duvet cover full of sheep's wool waiting to be spun, so I got that out and tied a rope around the top. Ram took down the trapeze and I put the makeshift punch bag and off Ram went!

He hit, kicked and punched the bag for 30 minutes! All the while I was able to potter around and tidy up, at the same time as watching him. After that he felt much better. He rested for a few minutes, then he started again. This time he tried different things, like sticks, jumping up in the air and kicking, and a length of chain.

He carried on for nearly an hour, until finally he had had enough. Now my happy chappy was relaxed enough to sit with me and watch Smart, followed by Blue Peter. Half way through Blue Peter he got restless again, so he got up and found my old winter motorcycle gloves, and used them as boxing gloves. Luckily having an open plan barn to live in he could do that and still watch Blue Peter.

I knew that he wasn't having a good day, and I could have handled the coat-hanger incident differently, but by thinking on my feet rather than getting angry at him, we have not only recovered the day, but had some with it.

Yes, even I have had a go!

Thursday 22 November 2007

The Birthday Boy!


The Birthday Boy!

We are still recovering from Ram's birthday. We had a great time with our friends and it was one of the best visits despite Banana and Sheepy brining with them coughs. Poor Ursula didn't get much sleep because Sheepy came down with an earache the day after the birthday.

The kids had Thursday and Friday to play about, and some serious Legoing was done, as well as trapeze practice. Part of the fun of the trapeze for some was using the milk churn on its side to do some log rolling. When Ram came to bed on Friday night I asked why he was upset with things,and he told me that the milk churn makes too much noise. So the next morning, rather than just say that they couldn't do it anymore, we sought a solution. It came very quickly. We got an old rug down from upstairs and put that down on the floor. Problem solved!

I always like to think things through and find a win win solution, rather than just being confrontational and telling people to stop what they are doing.

Saturday was birthday day, and although we were hoping that Ram could hold out until Dxh got there to open presents, because we werent' sure when he was arriving, Ram couldn't wait. He got a wonderful book from The Dog Walker called The Dastardly Book For Dogs, some more Lego (you can never have enough) and a new Gameboy Game called Harvest Moon.

Of course the main present didn't come out until later in the day. My son has had a right of passage and has his first air rifle! I know that for some people, especially those in towns, you may find that a shock, but here in the deepest countryside, and with the people that we associate with, this is a really big thing.

Ram is taking it very seriously, and despite his usual blank expression, you could see that he was really pleased. He is looking forward to improving his skill. Mind you, his first shot hit the bull's eye so he won't have far to go!

Ram didn't want every one coming at the same time, so in the afternoon we had another family round for tea and cake. The kids got on well, but by the time they left it was clear that Ram was flagging. Luckily Robin Hood was on and we all sat down to watch that together.

We didn't plan anything for the next day, so that the kids could just chill. It was lucky really because Sheepy came down with earache! We ended up with a day of films. We watch the newly released Harry Potter DVD, one that they brought with them, which was great because we can't go to the cinema (way to loud for autistic kids!) so we often don't get to watch films until a year later when they come out on DVD.

Then we watched the current rental DVD which was Flushed Away. A lovely animation just right for kids who are stress or under the weather. Then they watched Matilda which just happen to be on TV, and then there was a fourth one, that I can't even remember! But then someone had to be in the kitchen making food!

After Ursula and family left on Monday it was clear that Ram had been holding himself together and had only just made it to the end. He sat for the entire morning in a chair with a blanket over him, listening to me read. Then the whole afternoon was spent watching TV that we had recorded while there were here.

Ram decided that he didn't want anyone around for the rest of the week, including his Dad. And indeed, we have spent the last few days doing very little.

To people outside the family they probably saw a lively boy enjoying his birthday. What they don't see is the after effects, and just how much energy is taking up in appearing to be normal.

But no matter, Ram had a wonderful time, and I am sure it was made all the more bearable by knowing that he would have lots of time to recover.

Tuesday 13 November 2007

Day of Interruptions

Another day was spent reading Discworld. In fact, it is really taking over things. When I was preparing supper and listening to the six o'clock news on BBC radio, I heard that there were going to increase the number of police officers in Scotland, and before I knew it I was asking myself if they were going to include dwarfs, vampires and werewolves in the force!

It wasn't all plain sailing today though. We read in bed until after 10, but then Ram took longer than usual to get dressed. There is no hurrying him, as if you do it makes him so stressed that he ends up back in bed!

I left him to get his clothes on after putting his ankle supports on, as this used to be the best way to get him dressed in the quickest time. He didn't like being alone in the room so he would get his clothes on quickly to join me in the bathroom. But he ended up just lying in bed thinking, which I have no problem with, as quietly thinking is an important part of education, but it did mean that it was after 11 by the time we got downstairs for breakfast.

We then we upstairs to read, so that Ram could Lego. But first I had to ring the company that sold us the new breadmachine that wasn't working, then pack it up to return it. Then I went up and read for a bit, then remembered that as it was a nice day we had to put out the bedding from the guest room to air, then I had to take a phone call from Ursula confirming some details about the visit that couldn't be done on email.

Then we had lunch. Ram shouted at me to start reading again so I had to point out that I couldn't read and eat at the same time! He knows this, and can see that I am eating, but can't put two and two together. He was clearly getting frustrated with the interruptions.

Then they arrived to take the breadmaker back, then another phone call from Ursula, then from Dxh to say that the plumber was on the way to check which valve was broken, and by then it was four PM, and the plumber arrived!

We did get a lot of reading done, but there was also a lot of interruptions which made Ram very angry. He really can't cope yet with me on the phone.

In fact he brought it up again when we went to bed. He said he really couldn't understand why I had to be on the phone. He couldn't understand why I couldn't tell him what I was talking about at the same time that I was talking to the person.

I don't understand why he can't cope with me on the phone, and to a lesser extent me emailing people. But maybe one day he will be able to understand himself and that will make things easier.

And I wonder if the reason why he likes me to read in bed so much is because it is much harder for me to answer the phone or do emails!

Monday 12 November 2007

Who Needs a Bath Anyway!

We had a typical relaxing Sunday today. We read all morning. I started out reading the Discworld book, but it didn't last long because Ram wanted to read the Warhammer book that he has borrowed from the home ed group!

I really don't understand the Warhammer stuff. I suppose I could do if I really tried and studied it like Ram does, but I just don't have the time. Or as Ram puts it I am better at taking care of people than killing them!

We also caught up on some recorded TV. We watched the programme on the housing market. Ram took it all in even though he is many years away from being a first time buyer! Then we watched a two hour programme on The Great Wall of China. It was one of the most comprehensive programmes on the wall we have ever watched and it held Ram's attention for the whole two hours.

I did however, make a little mistake. I said that he would have to have his monthly bath after the programme, not realising that it was a two hour programme! So of course it was too late to have the bath afterwards as it was already past bedtime – well, mine at least!

So there we are, another month has past and I hasn't managed to get him in the bath. Mind you, it shows that if you don't bath regularly some how you become self cleaning, as he doesn't look or smell that dirty!

Sunday 11 November 2007

Talk, Talk, Talk, and More Laughter!

As expected we had a great day of purposive conversation. We started out reading of course, but once Dxh arrived we sat around with a cup of tea going over the events of the last few days.

We then went over to the farm to show Dxh the damage, and do some debris collecting. One of the interesting things that was pointed out to us was that there were five roofing sheets, each 10 feet long, that were blown away, and there isn't enough debris around the farm and in our garden to account for them! So where are the rest?



The small pile that we collected this morning. Where is the rest?







We are all still jumpy in the wind. I was looking at some more debris with the Dog Walker (daughter of Glow the Farmer) when there was a sudden gust of wind, and both of us tensed up! I just wanted to get back inside just in case! Silly really because I don't think it will happen again.

Some of the bad news is that the roof that was damaged the most was very old one, which was curved. Apparently they don't make curved roofing sheets anymore, so they may have to replace the whole roof with something more modern. It is a shame because that curved roof looks so pleasing to the eye, in the middle of the more angular roofs.




The damaged curved roof from a distance. The black hole is where the roof is missing.







I like to see something good come out of something bad. We were wondering what to do with the broken wheelbarrow that damaged my car. Then I was wondering where to put the strawberry plants that needed to be dug out of the fruit cage as they were not doing well in there, and were getting stepped on when picking the currents. It didn't take long to put two and two together and the wheelbarrow is now home to the strawberries!




Mobile strawberries!








In the afternoon we did more talking, and discussed some of the Discworld novels and television programmes we watched this week. Then we started tidying up. It is Ram's birthday and Ursula, Banana and Sheepy are coming to stay for a few days. This means that we need the big kitchen table cleared of all the home ed and craft projects cleared so we all have somewhere to sit and eat!

We had a great time doing it. We laughed a lot, teased each other, had a couple of tickle sessions, and did lots of talking altogether.

I wonder how many other families, especially those with children in school, spend so much time just talking and laughing together. I certainly feel that it keeps us close and happy.

Although I could have done without the verbal diarrhoea last night at bedtime. Ram just kept talking about nothing in particular. At one point after about five minutes of talking non stop he said something along the lines of: “Then of course you need genetically modified pigs to get them to fly, but all you have to do is say maaa twice and it will not work.”

I hadn't said a word, but just stared at him. Finally after this nonsense sentence, he realised I was just looking at him and stopped. We looked at each other and then just laughed! Then we had a cuddle, snuggled into bed, and read more Discworld, and laughed some more. I am sure the laughter helps us relax and get to sleep!

Saturday 10 November 2007

Education in Bed

After yesterday's excitement in the morning, Ram became very tired in the afternoon. At first he wanted me to read aloud to him.

Oh, lets just back track there a bit! At the moment, and for the last couple of months we have been reading our way through the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett. They have proved to be highly educational, not only the regular books themselves, but also the three 'Science of Discworld' books.

By reading these books aloud to Ram I can do a verbal annotation, like the ones that are available on the Internet. It is a wonderful example of how purposive conversation works. We will read a line such as "'They were myths and they were real,' he said loudly. 'Both a wave and a particle.'"
which is from Guards! Guards! and that will lead to a discussion about how light acts as both a wave and a particle, bringing in the science that we learned from the Science books! It takes us much longer to read these books that reading the actual words, as we often stop to discuss things!

Not only that, the Dxh is also reading them so when he comes on Saturdays we usually discuss the whole thing again. This can bring in other opinions, which is helps Ram learn that people can have differing opinions about the same thing, as well as a greater level of science understanding.

Anyway, back to yesterday. Even through Ram was eager to start the next book Feet of Clay, he wasn't really happy about it. He decided to go on the computer instead. I then had another conversation with Glow the farmer and suggested that Ram and I help with the clean up operation. Ram then said that he was too tired to do anything like that. So I left him looking up Pokemon data!

It is actually lovely to see him doing this, as a few years ago when he was into Pokemon he couldn't read it for himself. He is now really excited reading his own Pokemon books because he realises now how much he was missing when he couldn't read.

In the evening we watched the wildlife programmes on Channel Five, then The Tudors. At 10 o'clock there is a mad dash for bed so that Ram can watch Q.I. Live. At the end I turned over briefly to BBC1 to catch the weather, a topic that is in the forefront at the moment. Ram noticed that there was a particularly low temperature on the top most island above Scotland, so when we turned the TV off I reached for the atlas.

Yes, we keep an old physical geography atlas in the bedroom, just for moments like this!

This is a very old atlas that we bought from a charity shop. One reason I got it was because it is physical geography (weather, ground level, and so on) rather than the social geography that is more popular now, and another is to show how countries and their names have changed.

The first thing we noticed was that the island in question was not Shetland, but Zetland! So one of my jobs this morning is to look up when the name Zetland fell from use so that I can drop that into our purposive conversation today!

Then for some reason Ram wanted to look at Canada, so we had to go though the whole atlas to get to Canada (yes, I new it was at the end but didn't tell him so that we would have to go through the whole book!) looking at many interesting things on the way.

The great thing about home education, is that it can take place at any time of the day – or night!

Friday 9 November 2007

The Day After the Tornado

We have just come back from our tour of damage. It seems that the twister went through open countryside, clipped one farm, throught the garden of a house, lifting among other things their trampoline, hit the farm next to us with full force taking off sections of roof, then through the end of our garden and onto open countryside again where was there no evidence of any further damage.

I am sure that if there were no witnesses, no one whould have known what had happened, as it apprears that the rest of the village is totally unaffected!

Here are some photos to prove that we are not making it all up!



The main damage to the roof, parts of which were found 200 metres away!






Ram found several pieces as large as he is, just lying up against the farm side of the wall of our garden.






All that is left of the neighbour's trampoline.




This piece of roofing dug into the ground, so it is amazing that no one was hurt!



This apple tree won't make it...



...but this one might as the roots weren't ripped out and the trunk has only bent, not snapped.



This is the bath tub water butt that flew through the air over the wall into the paddock where the two apple trees were blown over.




The only structural damage we had was to the treehouse. The upright on the left should be vertical and couple of feet to the right! I am not sure we can fix it as the whole tree seems to have shifted, so we may have to take it down and start again.

We were lucky really. The car was badly scratched by a wheelbarrow flipping over, but it was in a not very noticble place and will easily be repaired. We have found the dog bowl that went missing in some brambles, the lid to the birdfeed storage bin in the paddock next door (although the feed may have to be ditched as it got rather wet), and the bolster pillow under our trampoline. This was quite interesting as the trampoline was in the opposite direction to the prevailing wind in relation to where the bolster started out. More proof that it was a tornado rather than just strong winds!

I had a chat with Glow (we have given her the name of one of her cows, to protect her identity!) the farmer and we both realised that it was only this morning that we could talk about it without our hearts beating fast!

For something that lasted so short a time, it has certainly had a huge impact!

Thursday 8 November 2007

Tornado Hits Leighterton!

Just a quick note to say that this afternoon we had a tornado rip through our garden and the farm next door.

It was just like people who are interviewed on the TV say; there was a roaring wind, then all the leaves in the garden were in the air swirling together like ballet dancers, then the bathtub at the bottom of the garden that we use as a water but went up in the air and over the wall into the paddock beyond!

The farm has come off much worse though, with many roof panels being ripped off. Luckily all the livestock and people were ok, but the farmer reckons there is around £10,000 worth of damage to the buildings.

But Mother Natures temper doesn't last long. There is now clear skys and a promise of a lovely sunset!

Must go back to Ram. We are watching a film where Mother Nature also figures highly; The Call of the Wild. I am not sure which I would prefer, a tornado, or a blizzard in the Arctic!