We finished reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince this morning just as my friend down the road a arrived with her son to put her frozen food in my deep freeze She needed to defrost her deep freeze, but I I won't embarrass her by telling you why she needed to do this!
Luckily I managed to get Ram dressed, and was able to go downstairs to make a cup of tea for us. Unfortunately because I wasn't upstairs with Ram he forgot to go to the toilet! Unless I am there with him to get him dressed he can't manage to remember what it is he does in the morning, or the evening for that matter.
We had a cup of tea together on the patio with me in my nightie and dressing gown! I had been up since 5.45 (Arrow had woken me!) and had breakfast but I hadn't even brushed my teeth! I think being a home educator and not having to worry about getting up everyday and going out, I get blaze about things like getting dressed.
My friend went back home and left her son to play with Ram which was nice. They started off on the trampoline but soon ended up on the computer as the day got hotter. We dropped Ram's friend back home for lunch went onto the petrol station to buy another sponge. This time we got a really big one so that we can surprise Dxh when he comes next and get him really wet!
We finally started Potter and the Deathly Hallows this afternoon. It was so hard to get Ram off the computer when he goes on it while I have my nap, He didn't stop playing until around 3.30, so we only got an hour in before it was time to watch Roman Mysteries! I think I want to read this book more than he does.
This evening he was back on the computer again. Even the dog got bored and took herself off to bed, and if Ram doesn't come soon I am going to go up and carry on reading the book myself!
Tuesday 31 July 2007
Monday 30 July 2007
My Boy Read Another Book!
Today was respite day so Dxh was here for Ram, and I was busy running around tying to buy lamp wicks. We have had so many power failures that our oil lamp wicks are running low. I always forget to buy more, until the winter comes and we have more power failures and then of course it is too late!
Unfortunately it seems that there is no call for wicks for domestic oil lamps so I guess it will be onto the Internet to find some. But I did get the varnish for the kitchen and a few other bits.
When I got back Ram and Dxh were having a great time. They had gone down to the petrol station and bought a sponge and were throwing it at each other! Ram was completely soaked and Dxh was pretty wet too! They were both in their own little Daddy-son world having a wonderful time. I am sure that most fathers don't get that close to their children. I think Dxh gets quite a lot out of being the respite carer. Almost worth being a single parent just for that!
Note I said almost worth it!
This evening I had a few things to do outside and when I came in Ram was happily reading a book to himself! He was reading the Bionicle book Makuta's Revenge, so it was hardly high brow literature, but for a boy who a couple of years ago couldn't read at all, I am really pleased.
But of course I can't get too excited about it or he will go off reading all together!
Unfortunately it seems that there is no call for wicks for domestic oil lamps so I guess it will be onto the Internet to find some. But I did get the varnish for the kitchen and a few other bits.
When I got back Ram and Dxh were having a great time. They had gone down to the petrol station and bought a sponge and were throwing it at each other! Ram was completely soaked and Dxh was pretty wet too! They were both in their own little Daddy-son world having a wonderful time. I am sure that most fathers don't get that close to their children. I think Dxh gets quite a lot out of being the respite carer. Almost worth being a single parent just for that!
Note I said almost worth it!
This evening I had a few things to do outside and when I came in Ram was happily reading a book to himself! He was reading the Bionicle book Makuta's Revenge, so it was hardly high brow literature, but for a boy who a couple of years ago couldn't read at all, I am really pleased.
But of course I can't get too excited about it or he will go off reading all together!
Sunday 29 July 2007
Nature is Cruel
We have had another power failure, and there isn't a drop of rain, or lightning or wind in sight!
One of our neighbours has decided to put in some complaints about these failures and to follow them up until they stop, and finally the electricity company are taking him seriously. It seems that now that most power isn't supplied by local companies that know the area well, there is less maintenance around the overhead cables.
Of course all this is being discussed with and around Ram so at least he will be growing up knowing where his electricity is coming from!
We read Harry Potter 6 in the morning but in the afternoon Ram got stuck on the computer again. . He is still obsessed with the computer, even though the carpenters have left. He is still very stressed about the whole thing.
Of course some of this is educational. Ram has been studying The Trojan War again!
While he was on the computer I was able to do some more work on the response to the consultation on the guidelines for home education. It is hard work sometimes getting the ins and outs of home education and Statements and special educational needs. I feel like my brain is melting, but I know it will be worth it in the end as it will hopefully make the local authorities treat all children who home educate equally, whether they have SEN and statements or not.
This evening we got an emergency call from the farm! They needed to urgently take this years ducklings over to the main village pond as they had become poorly and were dying. Ram is still really fond of the ducks that we had in our garden, and thinks of Petra, George and Fred as his.
We rushed through our supper and then went over to help them round up the remaining ducklings that were still healthy. Ram was very good at it. We put them in a cardboard box and walked over to the pond and let them out. We stood and watched them for ages.
There is a goose on the pond and it is very protective. It helped Petra keep the ducklings with her – all except one!
One little one was clearly not as well as the others. It didn't have enough oil in the feathers to keep afloat, and made its way back to shore. It was clear that the other two ducklings were being rounded up every time they strayed, but both Petra and the goose left this poorly one on its own.
Nature may seem cruel, but it does have its reasons. By isolating the one poorly duckling I guess they were making sure that the other ducks didn't catch what ever it was that was afflicting it.
One of our neighbours has decided to put in some complaints about these failures and to follow them up until they stop, and finally the electricity company are taking him seriously. It seems that now that most power isn't supplied by local companies that know the area well, there is less maintenance around the overhead cables.
Of course all this is being discussed with and around Ram so at least he will be growing up knowing where his electricity is coming from!
We read Harry Potter 6 in the morning but in the afternoon Ram got stuck on the computer again. . He is still obsessed with the computer, even though the carpenters have left. He is still very stressed about the whole thing.
Of course some of this is educational. Ram has been studying The Trojan War again!
While he was on the computer I was able to do some more work on the response to the consultation on the guidelines for home education. It is hard work sometimes getting the ins and outs of home education and Statements and special educational needs. I feel like my brain is melting, but I know it will be worth it in the end as it will hopefully make the local authorities treat all children who home educate equally, whether they have SEN and statements or not.
This evening we got an emergency call from the farm! They needed to urgently take this years ducklings over to the main village pond as they had become poorly and were dying. Ram is still really fond of the ducks that we had in our garden, and thinks of Petra, George and Fred as his.
We rushed through our supper and then went over to help them round up the remaining ducklings that were still healthy. Ram was very good at it. We put them in a cardboard box and walked over to the pond and let them out. We stood and watched them for ages.
There is a goose on the pond and it is very protective. It helped Petra keep the ducklings with her – all except one!
One little one was clearly not as well as the others. It didn't have enough oil in the feathers to keep afloat, and made its way back to shore. It was clear that the other two ducklings were being rounded up every time they strayed, but both Petra and the goose left this poorly one on its own.
Nature may seem cruel, but it does have its reasons. By isolating the one poorly duckling I guess they were making sure that the other ducks didn't catch what ever it was that was afflicting it.
Saturday 28 July 2007
Typical Day of Learning
Today being Saturday is family day, but that doesn't mean that education stops.
Dxh got here while we were still reading in bed. I had forgotten just how long Harry Potter 6 was!
We got dressed and went down to look at our wonderful new kitchen! It is still empty as I haven't finished the oiling yet. Dxh also had to tighten up some joints on the plumbing, so Ram got to learn a little more about plumbing.
We had a lovely lunch outside, for the first time in ages. It is a good thing too because the house is getting worse not better!
Then after my nap Dxh taught Ram how to dismantle a kitchen! All the old carcass of the kitchen was sitting outside and as they were forecasting rain again I wanted to get it in the garage. Then Ram asked if he could use my big mortar and pestle to crush up some dock leaves in case anyone gets stung by nettles.
I was busy putting yet more oil on the kitchen shelves when I realised that they had stopped curshing dock leaves and were playing on the trampoline. So I called out to ask if they had found a willing volunteer to try out their dock lotion. “Yes”, they shouted, “You”!
So I went out and stung myself, and sure enough the dock lotion worked!
After Dxh left we then settled down to watching The Day of the Triffids. We read the book a couple of years ago and Ram was really taken by it. We can't wait until next Saturday to see the rest of the series.
So it was a day of learning about building, or should I say demolishing, herbal remedies, and classic cult literature! Just another typical day of education in the life of a home educator!
Dxh got here while we were still reading in bed. I had forgotten just how long Harry Potter 6 was!
We got dressed and went down to look at our wonderful new kitchen! It is still empty as I haven't finished the oiling yet. Dxh also had to tighten up some joints on the plumbing, so Ram got to learn a little more about plumbing.
We had a lovely lunch outside, for the first time in ages. It is a good thing too because the house is getting worse not better!
Then after my nap Dxh taught Ram how to dismantle a kitchen! All the old carcass of the kitchen was sitting outside and as they were forecasting rain again I wanted to get it in the garage. Then Ram asked if he could use my big mortar and pestle to crush up some dock leaves in case anyone gets stung by nettles.
I was busy putting yet more oil on the kitchen shelves when I realised that they had stopped curshing dock leaves and were playing on the trampoline. So I called out to ask if they had found a willing volunteer to try out their dock lotion. “Yes”, they shouted, “You”!
So I went out and stung myself, and sure enough the dock lotion worked!
After Dxh left we then settled down to watching The Day of the Triffids. We read the book a couple of years ago and Ram was really taken by it. We can't wait until next Saturday to see the rest of the series.
So it was a day of learning about building, or should I say demolishing, herbal remedies, and classic cult literature! Just another typical day of education in the life of a home educator!
Friday 27 July 2007
So Tried
The difference in Ram this morning, knowing that there were no carpenters coming, was remarkable! He did asked twice to make sure they were not coming then he bounced downstairs!
But this afternoon it caught up with him and he sort of collapsed in a chair, and didn't move all afternoon. He is so very tired.
I am very tired too as I haven't had any naps for nearly two weeks, but I decided not to have one today. When Ram asked why I told him that I felt he needed me more than I needed the nap. He gave me a little grin. That was all he could manage.
We spent the afternoon with me reading Harry Potter 6 to him, then in the evening he was on the computer. He has become obsessed with Dawn of War at the moment. I think he felt that if he concentrated on it, he could pretend that the carpenters weren't here. However, now that they are gone, he is still left with the obsession.
Oh well, at least it gives me time to alternate between putting coats of oil on the kitchen, and working on the consultation.
But this afternoon it caught up with him and he sort of collapsed in a chair, and didn't move all afternoon. He is so very tired.
I am very tired too as I haven't had any naps for nearly two weeks, but I decided not to have one today. When Ram asked why I told him that I felt he needed me more than I needed the nap. He gave me a little grin. That was all he could manage.
We spent the afternoon with me reading Harry Potter 6 to him, then in the evening he was on the computer. He has become obsessed with Dawn of War at the moment. I think he felt that if he concentrated on it, he could pretend that the carpenters weren't here. However, now that they are gone, he is still left with the obsession.
Oh well, at least it gives me time to alternate between putting coats of oil on the kitchen, and working on the consultation.
Thursday 26 July 2007
Peace at Last
This should be the last day the carpenters are here thank goodness! Ram refused to come downstairs at all this morning, and at lunch time The Boss came round to talk to me. I had to tell him that I wasn't happy about the lack of communication between him and the carpenters, and it turns out that he lost the plans!
I was annoyed about this because I specifically had someone be with Ram while I went over all the measurements and plans so that I would be able to concentrate on Ram while the carpenters were actually putting things in. But best laid planes and all that!
While I was downstairs talking to The Boss Ram was upstairs shouting 'purple'! It is a measure of how stressed he is by how many random words he is shouting out! I don't think The Boss actually noticed and both he and the carpenters were amazed at how much work I have on my hands with Ram. Although it is nice to have that recognised, it isn't always useful. If I think about how much extra I have to do for Ram, I start to feel depressed!
I told The Boss that Ram had had enough and that what wasn't done by the end of today they won't be able to do. Luckily they were finished, except for the handles on the drawer, so the finally left!
Ram was able to come downstairs!
Now the hard work starts for me as I have to oil all the wood, then clean everything (the whole house is covered in wood dust) before moving everything back in.
I am actually looking forward to the next couple of days with no one else in the house. Hopefully Ram will now settle down.
I was annoyed about this because I specifically had someone be with Ram while I went over all the measurements and plans so that I would be able to concentrate on Ram while the carpenters were actually putting things in. But best laid planes and all that!
While I was downstairs talking to The Boss Ram was upstairs shouting 'purple'! It is a measure of how stressed he is by how many random words he is shouting out! I don't think The Boss actually noticed and both he and the carpenters were amazed at how much work I have on my hands with Ram. Although it is nice to have that recognised, it isn't always useful. If I think about how much extra I have to do for Ram, I start to feel depressed!
I told The Boss that Ram had had enough and that what wasn't done by the end of today they won't be able to do. Luckily they were finished, except for the handles on the drawer, so the finally left!
Ram was able to come downstairs!
Now the hard work starts for me as I have to oil all the wood, then clean everything (the whole house is covered in wood dust) before moving everything back in.
I am actually looking forward to the next couple of days with no one else in the house. Hopefully Ram will now settle down.
Wednesday 25 July 2007
My 30 Seconds of Joy
It is respite day today and Dxh came over to be with Ram, which I am really pleased about as I have a few things to do.
I went over to see MDF this morning, which was as good for me as it was her. I needed to get away from Ram and his clingyness, and the frustration of the carpenters, and having no kitchen to work in. I am actually getting fed up of eating store bought pizzas and soup!
When I got back from MDF's I was nabbed by the carpenters who needed to know where a shelf was going to go. As soon as Dxh heard my voice he can rushing in and said that I should go and rescue Ram who was on the toilet!
For a moment I was overjoyed! Ram usually refuses to have a pooh if I am not here, because he will only let me wipe his bum. I thought it was brilliant progress that he got onto the toilet while I wasn't here and how lucky it was that he finished just as I got back!
But my joy was short lived. It turned out that he had been sitting there for 30 minutes.
He decided he needed to go at 12, and held it in until 12.30, but then couldn't hold it any longer so went to the toilet, but then when he was finished he would let his Dad wipe his bottom, and he wouldn't get up without doing it. I felt so sorry for him.
The kitchen is coming alone, albeit slowly, which is a good thing because I don't think that Ram can take much more.
While all this is going on I am working on the government consultation on the guidelines for home education, as well as writing to Beverley Hughes to try and counteract some ultra varies ideas that my local authority has about home education.
So much to do and so little time!
I went over to see MDF this morning, which was as good for me as it was her. I needed to get away from Ram and his clingyness, and the frustration of the carpenters, and having no kitchen to work in. I am actually getting fed up of eating store bought pizzas and soup!
When I got back from MDF's I was nabbed by the carpenters who needed to know where a shelf was going to go. As soon as Dxh heard my voice he can rushing in and said that I should go and rescue Ram who was on the toilet!
For a moment I was overjoyed! Ram usually refuses to have a pooh if I am not here, because he will only let me wipe his bum. I thought it was brilliant progress that he got onto the toilet while I wasn't here and how lucky it was that he finished just as I got back!
But my joy was short lived. It turned out that he had been sitting there for 30 minutes.
He decided he needed to go at 12, and held it in until 12.30, but then couldn't hold it any longer so went to the toilet, but then when he was finished he would let his Dad wipe his bottom, and he wouldn't get up without doing it. I felt so sorry for him.
The kitchen is coming alone, albeit slowly, which is a good thing because I don't think that Ram can take much more.
While all this is going on I am working on the government consultation on the guidelines for home education, as well as writing to Beverley Hughes to try and counteract some ultra varies ideas that my local authority has about home education.
So much to do and so little time!
Sunday 22 July 2007
Safe in the Rain
I still have some more that I want to load up about this week, but after seeing the early morning news about how badly Gloucestershire has been hit by the rain, I thought I would quickly let people know we are ok.
Gloucestershire is a big country and is roughly made up of three areas. The beautiful one is The Forest of Dean on the west side of the Severn River, which boarders Wales, the middle bit which surrounds the river Severn, and the eastern bit which is part of the Cotswolds. It is usually the middle bit that floods especially when the Severn bursts its banks, along with a few cities and towns which have drainage problems and rivers running through them.
We are in the Cotswolds bit, and our village has no rivers, streams or springs in it. In fact this was usually a disadvantage as the village often ran dry in the summer, and didn't have mains water until the mid 1960's!
It is a great home ed lesson to talk about this. I was lucky enough to be friends with one of the lovely old ladies who had lived here all her life, so I had first hand information about what it was like in the 1960s when mains electricity, water and sewage came to the village. I have been able to pass this on to the younger generation.
So what was a disadvantage in the past when we had dry weather, is now an advantage in this wet weather as we don't have problems with flooding.
With all the flooding stories in the news, this can sometimes alarm children on the spectrum, who may take it in, but won't necessarily be able to express their fear. Sometimes you think that they are not worried about something because they don't seem to be reacting, only to find that they have been dwelling on it for weeks!
On of the things we did to combat this, as flooding often comes up in discussions about global warming, was to get hold of a 'proper' atlas. These days geography seems to put more emphasis on social geography, but we found a lovely old senior school atlas in a charity shop that had proper physical geography maps in it.
We sat in bed late one night looking at the land levels and checking out where all our friends and family lived, and decided how far the sea level would have to rise before they were flooded. Luckily at the time most people Ram knew were living high enough that they wouldn't be flooded.
But now that Ursula has moved to the York area I may have to be a bit careful about that one!
I hope everyone in the flooded area is safe enough to look upon this as a learning experience.
Gloucestershire is a big country and is roughly made up of three areas. The beautiful one is The Forest of Dean on the west side of the Severn River, which boarders Wales, the middle bit which surrounds the river Severn, and the eastern bit which is part of the Cotswolds. It is usually the middle bit that floods especially when the Severn bursts its banks, along with a few cities and towns which have drainage problems and rivers running through them.
We are in the Cotswolds bit, and our village has no rivers, streams or springs in it. In fact this was usually a disadvantage as the village often ran dry in the summer, and didn't have mains water until the mid 1960's!
It is a great home ed lesson to talk about this. I was lucky enough to be friends with one of the lovely old ladies who had lived here all her life, so I had first hand information about what it was like in the 1960s when mains electricity, water and sewage came to the village. I have been able to pass this on to the younger generation.
So what was a disadvantage in the past when we had dry weather, is now an advantage in this wet weather as we don't have problems with flooding.
With all the flooding stories in the news, this can sometimes alarm children on the spectrum, who may take it in, but won't necessarily be able to express their fear. Sometimes you think that they are not worried about something because they don't seem to be reacting, only to find that they have been dwelling on it for weeks!
On of the things we did to combat this, as flooding often comes up in discussions about global warming, was to get hold of a 'proper' atlas. These days geography seems to put more emphasis on social geography, but we found a lovely old senior school atlas in a charity shop that had proper physical geography maps in it.
We sat in bed late one night looking at the land levels and checking out where all our friends and family lived, and decided how far the sea level would have to rise before they were flooded. Luckily at the time most people Ram knew were living high enough that they wouldn't be flooded.
But now that Ursula has moved to the York area I may have to be a bit careful about that one!
I hope everyone in the flooded area is safe enough to look upon this as a learning experience.
Saturday 21 July 2007
This Too Shall Pass
Ram is really suffering from the carpenters being in the house. He now doesn't even want to come downstairs so I am taking his food up to him.
The whole kitchen thing is taking longer than it is supposed to. The boss hasn't told the carpenters about all the shelves,and they didn't even know about one of the cabinettes that was supposed to be made in the workshop! This means that I am constantly having to come downstairs and talk to them, and each time Ram gets more and more upset.
We have started Harry Potter 6, so that we will be able to remember what happens before starting Harry Potter 7, so that is giving us something to do.
Other than that he is playing on his computer, but only when he can guarantee the men are not in the house. So when they go out to the van for lunch, Ram rushes downstairs to the computer.
I am getting tired because I can't have my power naps in the afternoon. Ram can't cope with me 'not being here' while I am having the nap while the carpenters are here. I think he is afraid that they might try to speak to him.
Oh well, as they say, this too shall pass!
The whole kitchen thing is taking longer than it is supposed to. The boss hasn't told the carpenters about all the shelves,and they didn't even know about one of the cabinettes that was supposed to be made in the workshop! This means that I am constantly having to come downstairs and talk to them, and each time Ram gets more and more upset.
We have started Harry Potter 6, so that we will be able to remember what happens before starting Harry Potter 7, so that is giving us something to do.
Other than that he is playing on his computer, but only when he can guarantee the men are not in the house. So when they go out to the van for lunch, Ram rushes downstairs to the computer.
I am getting tired because I can't have my power naps in the afternoon. Ram can't cope with me 'not being here' while I am having the nap while the carpenters are here. I think he is afraid that they might try to speak to him.
Oh well, as they say, this too shall pass!
Thursday 19 July 2007
Worth It in the End
Today was respite day so the Dxh was here to sit with Ram while I got to put my feet up, have a coffee and read a magazine, have lunch with the girls and do a spot of retail therapy.
Only joking!
I know a lot of people think that is what we do with respite days, but the reality is much grubbier than that. Today I spent it in the garden. I managed to put up the rest of the rabbit fencing to keep the blighters out of my veggies, and plant out the ones that have been in pots in the green house waiting for the fence to go up.
It isn't that people with disabled kids wouldn't like a break like that now and again, but there is so much that you can't manage to do while caring for the kids that you end up running yourself ragged when you do get a break.
But I did get one special treat today. I managed a shower before Dxh went home! I haven't had one in ages and I was so covered in mud because it had started to rain as I was finishing up in the garden, that it was really appreciated!
I also had to make a couple of phone calls so when Ram decided to play outside I got to ring the supplier of the ankle supports to find out why they haven't sent me the return information. The supports were way too big for him, and they assure me that I can return them but somehow they have failed to give me the information!
I also had to admit defeat with the veggies and order a box from the local box delivery scheme. It will be more expensive but Ram is getting more and more distressed in the green grocer so I will get the veggies delivered for a while.
Sometimes when the stress gets too much over something I find that if I remove it, and leave it for a while, he will forget how stressful it was and we will be able to do it again.
It is actually the opposite to what some professionals recommend. They say that children should be forced to face their fears and not be allowed to run away. But in our experience the increased stress of forcing them to do what they find most stressful never goes away. But if you remove the source of stress, and then reintroduce it some time later, it is actually very successful.
As for Ram, I think he had a good day with his Dad. As the weather was nice for a change he was able to play outside but he had to avoid the carpenters, so it entailed taking the long way around the house to get back inside. And amazingly, he managed a swim in the pool! It is only a 10 foot one, but when you are only 10 years old and it is filled to over flowing because of the rain, it is still exciting.
The kitchen is starting to look like a kitchen again, but it is a pain to not have facilities to prepare food. It is lucky in a way that Ram has such a limited diet because it is easy to cater for him, but I miss having space to make things for myself.
Still, like getting the veggies delivered, it will be worth it in the end!
Only joking!
I know a lot of people think that is what we do with respite days, but the reality is much grubbier than that. Today I spent it in the garden. I managed to put up the rest of the rabbit fencing to keep the blighters out of my veggies, and plant out the ones that have been in pots in the green house waiting for the fence to go up.
It isn't that people with disabled kids wouldn't like a break like that now and again, but there is so much that you can't manage to do while caring for the kids that you end up running yourself ragged when you do get a break.
But I did get one special treat today. I managed a shower before Dxh went home! I haven't had one in ages and I was so covered in mud because it had started to rain as I was finishing up in the garden, that it was really appreciated!
I also had to make a couple of phone calls so when Ram decided to play outside I got to ring the supplier of the ankle supports to find out why they haven't sent me the return information. The supports were way too big for him, and they assure me that I can return them but somehow they have failed to give me the information!
I also had to admit defeat with the veggies and order a box from the local box delivery scheme. It will be more expensive but Ram is getting more and more distressed in the green grocer so I will get the veggies delivered for a while.
Sometimes when the stress gets too much over something I find that if I remove it, and leave it for a while, he will forget how stressful it was and we will be able to do it again.
It is actually the opposite to what some professionals recommend. They say that children should be forced to face their fears and not be allowed to run away. But in our experience the increased stress of forcing them to do what they find most stressful never goes away. But if you remove the source of stress, and then reintroduce it some time later, it is actually very successful.
As for Ram, I think he had a good day with his Dad. As the weather was nice for a change he was able to play outside but he had to avoid the carpenters, so it entailed taking the long way around the house to get back inside. And amazingly, he managed a swim in the pool! It is only a 10 foot one, but when you are only 10 years old and it is filled to over flowing because of the rain, it is still exciting.
The kitchen is starting to look like a kitchen again, but it is a pain to not have facilities to prepare food. It is lucky in a way that Ram has such a limited diet because it is easy to cater for him, but I miss having space to make things for myself.
Still, like getting the veggies delivered, it will be worth it in the end!
Wednesday 18 July 2007
Too Many People
Ram quickly ran downstairs quickly this morning and went straight into the study to avoid the carpenters. He really isn't happy about them being here. So it was breakfast and lunch in front of the computer!
He has started the Harry Potter game but it swapping between that and Dawn of War and Age of Empires. I am not sure what educational value Harry Potter and Dawn of War have, other than the usual eye hand coordination, logic skills, problem solving and sequencing, but at least Age of Empires also has historical information.
This afternoon we went to the home ed meet. It is supposed to mainly be for the older ones but four families of younger ones came too. Ram again found it too much with so many people. However he did enjoy the game of Necromunder that the older boys played.
After that I think he just needed some time alone in the woods. Unfortunately some other boys went in too. It isn't their fault, they just want to have fun too. In fact it is interesting that often people seek out Ram, even though he doesn't try to attract people!
I know that many people think that children need to be socialised, but forcing them to do something that they find so stressful that it can only serve to put them off. I will have to be careful to make sure that we don't tip the balance and find that he starts to refuse to go all together.
Ram was relieved to find that the carpenters were gone when we got home, but he still went into the study just in case!
Too many people at home ed meet, too many people at home. We can't win at the moment!
He has started the Harry Potter game but it swapping between that and Dawn of War and Age of Empires. I am not sure what educational value Harry Potter and Dawn of War have, other than the usual eye hand coordination, logic skills, problem solving and sequencing, but at least Age of Empires also has historical information.
This afternoon we went to the home ed meet. It is supposed to mainly be for the older ones but four families of younger ones came too. Ram again found it too much with so many people. However he did enjoy the game of Necromunder that the older boys played.
After that I think he just needed some time alone in the woods. Unfortunately some other boys went in too. It isn't their fault, they just want to have fun too. In fact it is interesting that often people seek out Ram, even though he doesn't try to attract people!
I know that many people think that children need to be socialised, but forcing them to do something that they find so stressful that it can only serve to put them off. I will have to be careful to make sure that we don't tip the balance and find that he starts to refuse to go all together.
Ram was relieved to find that the carpenters were gone when we got home, but he still went into the study just in case!
Too many people at home ed meet, too many people at home. We can't win at the moment!
Tuesday 17 July 2007
Do All Builders Lie?
When we first moved into the barn, we knew that the kitchen and utility room were only temporary. So now 12 years later we are finally getting them finished!
We wanted it done after Christmas, so contacted a local carpenter, and commissioned him to do the work. He first said it would be done before Easter, then it was going to be after Easter, then I stressed it had to be done before the second week of July when our friends came to stay. I knew that they were cutting it close, but I believed them and was looking forward to getting Ursula to help me sort out the new kitchen.
Then came the phone call to say that they would like to start in the second week of July! I told them that was not acceptable, so they said they would start 8.30 Monday morning of the week after.
Then I got an email saying that it would be Tuesday. That suited me fine because I knew that Ram would need some time to recover and chill out after the busy week with friends. And indeed we did have a quiet day in on Monday.
So this morning I got dress straight away at 6 am when I got up, and was ready and waiting at 8.30. No one arrived, no emails or telephone call to say they were delayed. And Tuesday is swimming day and we have to be out of the house at 9.30!
I got Ram up and ready as normal, and at 9.25 just as we were putting shoes on, they arrived! I had to warn Ram that I might be annoyed as sometimes he picks up on this and more than once when he was little, when I have been having a go a builders (usually the neighbours builder's who kept blocking my drive) Ram will take up where I leave off!
I couldn't stay and get them settled I just said that I wasn't happy, explained where I was going and left.
I was rather relived when I got back to find that they hadn't cleared the house of valuables and left! They had actually cleared out the old kitchen. It was rather sad because I had not only designed it but built it too. All my lovely handwork sitting in the rain!
Ram was more stressed when swimming than usual and I can only think it was because of the carpenters. He couldn't cope with the greengrocers at all, but at least we did pick up his magazines. We are still getting the Horrible Science ones, and The Simpsons of course!
When we got home Ram went straight into the study and turned on the computer. He didn't even bother with him magazines, he just wanted to stay away from the men. I had the new Harry Potter game for him to play while the kitchen was being done and I expected him to dive into that but he didn't! I don't know why, but he went straight to his old games. I guess it was a comfort to him.
And then there was another builder that didn't turn – again! This one was to deal with some pointing around a window outside. The frustrating thing is that I could do all these things myself. I put the first kitchen in myself, making everything from scratch, none of those B&Q jobs for me, and I did the pointing of the stone work too, although not around this particular window. But caring for Ram is a full time job now so I can't be a builder too.
Just before we went up to bed I asked Ram if he would like to see the kitchen. I could see the look of panic on his face! But I explained that the men had gone home, and they would be back tomorrow so that if he wanted to see what they did he would have to see it now.
He finally did come with me to see it and had a good look around. It is only the frame that they have in, so it is quite easy to see how it is all going together.
We talked some more about it while we were cleaning our teeth. Ram said that he is more stressed than usual. On his stress scale of one to 10, he is normally 0 when in a deep sleep, one when dreaming, two to three when at home, four when getting ready to go out, five or six on our way and before swimming,. Any higher is for when he is not with me.
Tonight he said that he is four in the house, because of the men being here, and five if he has to be in the same room as them!
I only hope that they show up everyday now until they get the job done, and that the other builder gets in contact to say why he didn't show up.
I can't think that all builders lie about when they will turn up, but sometimes I do wonder!
We wanted it done after Christmas, so contacted a local carpenter, and commissioned him to do the work. He first said it would be done before Easter, then it was going to be after Easter, then I stressed it had to be done before the second week of July when our friends came to stay. I knew that they were cutting it close, but I believed them and was looking forward to getting Ursula to help me sort out the new kitchen.
Then came the phone call to say that they would like to start in the second week of July! I told them that was not acceptable, so they said they would start 8.30 Monday morning of the week after.
Then I got an email saying that it would be Tuesday. That suited me fine because I knew that Ram would need some time to recover and chill out after the busy week with friends. And indeed we did have a quiet day in on Monday.
So this morning I got dress straight away at 6 am when I got up, and was ready and waiting at 8.30. No one arrived, no emails or telephone call to say they were delayed. And Tuesday is swimming day and we have to be out of the house at 9.30!
I got Ram up and ready as normal, and at 9.25 just as we were putting shoes on, they arrived! I had to warn Ram that I might be annoyed as sometimes he picks up on this and more than once when he was little, when I have been having a go a builders (usually the neighbours builder's who kept blocking my drive) Ram will take up where I leave off!
I couldn't stay and get them settled I just said that I wasn't happy, explained where I was going and left.
I was rather relived when I got back to find that they hadn't cleared the house of valuables and left! They had actually cleared out the old kitchen. It was rather sad because I had not only designed it but built it too. All my lovely handwork sitting in the rain!
Ram was more stressed when swimming than usual and I can only think it was because of the carpenters. He couldn't cope with the greengrocers at all, but at least we did pick up his magazines. We are still getting the Horrible Science ones, and The Simpsons of course!
When we got home Ram went straight into the study and turned on the computer. He didn't even bother with him magazines, he just wanted to stay away from the men. I had the new Harry Potter game for him to play while the kitchen was being done and I expected him to dive into that but he didn't! I don't know why, but he went straight to his old games. I guess it was a comfort to him.
And then there was another builder that didn't turn – again! This one was to deal with some pointing around a window outside. The frustrating thing is that I could do all these things myself. I put the first kitchen in myself, making everything from scratch, none of those B&Q jobs for me, and I did the pointing of the stone work too, although not around this particular window. But caring for Ram is a full time job now so I can't be a builder too.
Just before we went up to bed I asked Ram if he would like to see the kitchen. I could see the look of panic on his face! But I explained that the men had gone home, and they would be back tomorrow so that if he wanted to see what they did he would have to see it now.
He finally did come with me to see it and had a good look around. It is only the frame that they have in, so it is quite easy to see how it is all going together.
We talked some more about it while we were cleaning our teeth. Ram said that he is more stressed than usual. On his stress scale of one to 10, he is normally 0 when in a deep sleep, one when dreaming, two to three when at home, four when getting ready to go out, five or six on our way and before swimming,. Any higher is for when he is not with me.
Tonight he said that he is four in the house, because of the men being here, and five if he has to be in the same room as them!
I only hope that they show up everyday now until they get the job done, and that the other builder gets in contact to say why he didn't show up.
I can't think that all builders lie about when they will turn up, but sometimes I do wonder!
Sunday 15 July 2007
Things Don't Always Go The Way You Want Them To
You may have noticed that I haven't posted for a while. I have a really good excuse – I mean reason!
Last week my friend Ursula with her daughter Banana (Ram's best friend) and son Sheepy came to visit. For more info on them see my previous blog on the He-special website.
We normally all look forward to these visits, especially this time as it has been six months, but unfortunately this visit wasn't up to the usual standard. Quite possibly because it has been six months.
But there could be all sorts of other reasons. Ram and Banana are getting older, as is Sheepy. It was quite obvious that Ram and Sheepy went off together on the first day leaving Banana out, something that hasn't really happened before.
Also the mums were busy. Ursula brought down her laptop so that she could keep up with some marking she had to do, and I was busy trying to keep up with the http://www.freedomforchildrentogrow.org/update.htm government consultation on home education guidelines, not to mention rather a lot of cooking!
The house was also a bit different as we were having work done on the kitchen the following week. We arranged this just after Christmas, and they said it would be done before Easter, then after Easter, then they assured me it would definitely be done before the second week of July when Ursula was due to come. Time was marching on and I started ringing them once a week. It looked like they were going to do it the week before she came which would have been fine because we could have put everything back in the kitchen together. But no, they finally gave me the date of the second week of July!
We had started packing up the kitchen months ago, and Ursula helped me do a lot more of it too. So we had boxes all over the place, resulting in people having to step over things and I think this really unsettled the children too.
Finally on the last night Banana suggested we all play the card game Cheat. We really should have tried to do something like that sooner as the kids really enjoyed it. In fact we ended up playing the following morning before I took them back to the station!
We did have some nice moments. We took everyone over to the special needs play-park one afternoon. Dxh had come for lunch. Actually that was an interesting learning moment for Ram because at first he couldn't understand why his Dad would want to come and have a visit with his mum's friend! After lunch we bundled into two cars, with Ursula taking her knitting and me taking my drop spindle and some brown Jacobs fleece to spin, plus some yummy chocolate macaroons called cow pats, and some coconut ones too.
We must have looked the idea picture of domestic harmony. Well, for a little while at least!
We also went over to the farm as Petra the duck that lived with us two years ago before moving to the village pond had produced 8 ducklings right on time for their visit! Banana and Ram seem to have lost the excitement of the Farm but Sheepy was very please to go over the wall and we actually went twice with him.
We also did some tie-dyeing with carrot tops, which gives a yellow, and nettles for green. Unfortunately Banana's didn't turn out the way she thought it would which was disappointing for her, but that is the way it is with natural dyeing. It can still be a hard lesson to learn.
We also spent some time watching Doctor Who. The only episode that they didn't have on tape was The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances, so we watched those one day. That night at supper Sheepy said: 'Mummy' in that voice! It really sent shivers up my spine! We also watched a really old Doctor Who film Daleks'Invasion Earth: 22150 AD too, with the mums spinning and knitting their way through it.
Although this visit wasn't the greatest, we are still looking forward to going up to York to visit them soon. I think for some reason it seems to work better with us going their than with them coming here.
And of course it is one of life's hardest lessons to learn: things don't always go the way you want them to. And that lesson is one for adults as well as the children!
Last week my friend Ursula with her daughter Banana (Ram's best friend) and son Sheepy came to visit. For more info on them see my previous blog on the He-special website.
We normally all look forward to these visits, especially this time as it has been six months, but unfortunately this visit wasn't up to the usual standard. Quite possibly because it has been six months.
But there could be all sorts of other reasons. Ram and Banana are getting older, as is Sheepy. It was quite obvious that Ram and Sheepy went off together on the first day leaving Banana out, something that hasn't really happened before.
Also the mums were busy. Ursula brought down her laptop so that she could keep up with some marking she had to do, and I was busy trying to keep up with the http://www.freedomforchildrentogrow.org/update.htm government consultation on home education guidelines, not to mention rather a lot of cooking!
The house was also a bit different as we were having work done on the kitchen the following week. We arranged this just after Christmas, and they said it would be done before Easter, then after Easter, then they assured me it would definitely be done before the second week of July when Ursula was due to come. Time was marching on and I started ringing them once a week. It looked like they were going to do it the week before she came which would have been fine because we could have put everything back in the kitchen together. But no, they finally gave me the date of the second week of July!
We had started packing up the kitchen months ago, and Ursula helped me do a lot more of it too. So we had boxes all over the place, resulting in people having to step over things and I think this really unsettled the children too.
Finally on the last night Banana suggested we all play the card game Cheat. We really should have tried to do something like that sooner as the kids really enjoyed it. In fact we ended up playing the following morning before I took them back to the station!
We did have some nice moments. We took everyone over to the special needs play-park one afternoon. Dxh had come for lunch. Actually that was an interesting learning moment for Ram because at first he couldn't understand why his Dad would want to come and have a visit with his mum's friend! After lunch we bundled into two cars, with Ursula taking her knitting and me taking my drop spindle and some brown Jacobs fleece to spin, plus some yummy chocolate macaroons called cow pats, and some coconut ones too.
We must have looked the idea picture of domestic harmony. Well, for a little while at least!
We also went over to the farm as Petra the duck that lived with us two years ago before moving to the village pond had produced 8 ducklings right on time for their visit! Banana and Ram seem to have lost the excitement of the Farm but Sheepy was very please to go over the wall and we actually went twice with him.
We also did some tie-dyeing with carrot tops, which gives a yellow, and nettles for green. Unfortunately Banana's didn't turn out the way she thought it would which was disappointing for her, but that is the way it is with natural dyeing. It can still be a hard lesson to learn.
We also spent some time watching Doctor Who. The only episode that they didn't have on tape was The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances, so we watched those one day. That night at supper Sheepy said: 'Mummy' in that voice! It really sent shivers up my spine! We also watched a really old Doctor Who film Daleks'Invasion Earth: 22150 AD too, with the mums spinning and knitting their way through it.
Although this visit wasn't the greatest, we are still looking forward to going up to York to visit them soon. I think for some reason it seems to work better with us going their than with them coming here.
And of course it is one of life's hardest lessons to learn: things don't always go the way you want them to. And that lesson is one for adults as well as the children!
Saturday 7 July 2007
A Grand Day Out
The Country Show
We had a wonderful day today at the the local Country Show. Last year it was terrible. Ram spent most of his time on the ground whining and crying that his feet hurt. He was ok when we were sitting at the arena watching the show, but as soon as we started to walk around his behaviour deteriorated.
When I got home that day, I remembered seeing another older child in a buggy, so I decided to get the old buggy out of the garage that I never used! I had Ram in a backpack the whole time because of walking the dogs in the fields, and when he was too big to go in it, I had to stop walking the dogs. I always thought it was the autism that made him not like walking. It was only when the physiotherapist assessed him that we realised he actually had a problem that was causing pain.
Anyway, it was last years visit to the fair that got me thinking about a buggy, and after trying out one shopping trip with the little buggy, Ram's knees up to his ears, that we bought the Mclaren Major buggy.
So this year with the buggy I knew it would let us know if it was just the pain of his feet or more than that, that caused the problems last year.
And the verdict! It was the pain in his feet!
We had such a lovely time this year, with no tears, or behaviour problems. No lying on the ground or whining. In fact he sat and watching a lecture on the history of shotguns!
The day started well with a trip to a stall where you could shoot an air rifle at targets in the grass. Ram was very good and hit several of the targets. In fact they said he was the best they had had that day so far!
We discussed our rabbit problem and they said that no only would an air rifle be good enough to kill them, but that Ram was skilled enough to hit them in the right spot. So it looks like we will be getting an air rifle.
Later in the day we had a try at another stand where it is just target practice. Both Ram and the Dxh had a go. Ram did very well again getting all but one of his shots in the centre of the target. Dxh didn't think he would do so well as his eyesight has deteriorated since he used air rifles at school and he couldn't even focus on the target, but he surprised himself and got all his shots in the middle too!
We had our lunch by the arena watching the dog show and the White Helmets. Because Ram already has a seat with his buggy, and the bag we carry on the back of the buggy is actually a little stool that Dxh's mother used when she was out painting, we also took another camp stool hooked over the handle bars which meant that we all had somewhere to sit and have lunch.
Ram was so much happier that we managed to stay much longer than last year. Last year we actually left quite early, but this year we stayed almost to the end.
Ram's feet may not have hurt, but mine certainly did!
We had a wonderful day today at the the local Country Show. Last year it was terrible. Ram spent most of his time on the ground whining and crying that his feet hurt. He was ok when we were sitting at the arena watching the show, but as soon as we started to walk around his behaviour deteriorated.
When I got home that day, I remembered seeing another older child in a buggy, so I decided to get the old buggy out of the garage that I never used! I had Ram in a backpack the whole time because of walking the dogs in the fields, and when he was too big to go in it, I had to stop walking the dogs. I always thought it was the autism that made him not like walking. It was only when the physiotherapist assessed him that we realised he actually had a problem that was causing pain.
Anyway, it was last years visit to the fair that got me thinking about a buggy, and after trying out one shopping trip with the little buggy, Ram's knees up to his ears, that we bought the Mclaren Major buggy.
So this year with the buggy I knew it would let us know if it was just the pain of his feet or more than that, that caused the problems last year.
And the verdict! It was the pain in his feet!
We had such a lovely time this year, with no tears, or behaviour problems. No lying on the ground or whining. In fact he sat and watching a lecture on the history of shotguns!
The day started well with a trip to a stall where you could shoot an air rifle at targets in the grass. Ram was very good and hit several of the targets. In fact they said he was the best they had had that day so far!
We discussed our rabbit problem and they said that no only would an air rifle be good enough to kill them, but that Ram was skilled enough to hit them in the right spot. So it looks like we will be getting an air rifle.
Later in the day we had a try at another stand where it is just target practice. Both Ram and the Dxh had a go. Ram did very well again getting all but one of his shots in the centre of the target. Dxh didn't think he would do so well as his eyesight has deteriorated since he used air rifles at school and he couldn't even focus on the target, but he surprised himself and got all his shots in the middle too!
We had our lunch by the arena watching the dog show and the White Helmets. Because Ram already has a seat with his buggy, and the bag we carry on the back of the buggy is actually a little stool that Dxh's mother used when she was out painting, we also took another camp stool hooked over the handle bars which meant that we all had somewhere to sit and have lunch.
Ram was so much happier that we managed to stay much longer than last year. Last year we actually left quite early, but this year we stayed almost to the end.
Ram's feet may not have hurt, but mine certainly did!
Friday 6 July 2007
As usual Thursday and today have been chill out days after the home ed meeting, so I thought I would just fill in a few little things that have been going on in the background.
For instance, this morning we were looking out the window of the bathroom as usual while brushing Ram's hair and spotted a woodpecker! I had heard from a neighbour that there was one in the village, but this is the first time it has been seen in our garden.
We always keep some binoculars in the bathroom, along with a bird book, so we spend around 15 minutes watching it look for insects and trying to decide which species it was. We are still not sure because it seemed to have more red on the head than a great woodpecker but the middle woodpecker isn't found in the UK. It definitely wasn't a lesser woodpecker as it didn't have the red on the rump.
This week we have also seen a lot of rabbits in the garden. They are coming over from the paddock behind us. They are so bad again this year that they have eaten a lot of things in our vegetable patch, and they are now all over the farm yard too!
We also found a dead pigeon in the garden this week. I thought it was alive at first and couldn't understand why it didn't fly off, until I realised it had died while perching! When I knocked it off the perch, I found that its feet and legs were very swollen. We asked the gardeners who know a lot about birds from their experience helping with game keepers and there said that it wasn't mites but some kind of tumours probably.
We also had a good look at one of the snakes. The smaller one was in the compost bin this afternoon and the gardener picked it up for us to have a better look at it.
Over the past week Ram has just been playing Dawn of War on the computer and I have been reading to him. I was thinking that not much education has been going on, but actually, there is more to the book we are reading than I realised.
We are reading Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett, and the motif is Imperial China and Maoism.
In fact, the Wikipedia page on the Discworld series is very useful as it lists the motifs from each of the books. Besides China apparently Lemmings, the computer game also appears in this book, but we haven't spotted htat yet.
We have spotted many things about China though, some from the Adam Hart-Davis series What the Ancients Did For Us, which is a lovely way of consolidating what Ram has already learned from watching the TV programme .
How much more fun it is to read amusing books, and watch birds out of a window, to show how much you have learned, than taking a test in school!
For instance, this morning we were looking out the window of the bathroom as usual while brushing Ram's hair and spotted a woodpecker! I had heard from a neighbour that there was one in the village, but this is the first time it has been seen in our garden.
We always keep some binoculars in the bathroom, along with a bird book, so we spend around 15 minutes watching it look for insects and trying to decide which species it was. We are still not sure because it seemed to have more red on the head than a great woodpecker but the middle woodpecker isn't found in the UK. It definitely wasn't a lesser woodpecker as it didn't have the red on the rump.
This week we have also seen a lot of rabbits in the garden. They are coming over from the paddock behind us. They are so bad again this year that they have eaten a lot of things in our vegetable patch, and they are now all over the farm yard too!
We also found a dead pigeon in the garden this week. I thought it was alive at first and couldn't understand why it didn't fly off, until I realised it had died while perching! When I knocked it off the perch, I found that its feet and legs were very swollen. We asked the gardeners who know a lot about birds from their experience helping with game keepers and there said that it wasn't mites but some kind of tumours probably.
We also had a good look at one of the snakes. The smaller one was in the compost bin this afternoon and the gardener picked it up for us to have a better look at it.
Over the past week Ram has just been playing Dawn of War on the computer and I have been reading to him. I was thinking that not much education has been going on, but actually, there is more to the book we are reading than I realised.
We are reading Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett, and the motif is Imperial China and Maoism.
In fact, the Wikipedia page on the Discworld series is very useful as it lists the motifs from each of the books. Besides China apparently Lemmings, the computer game also appears in this book, but we haven't spotted htat yet.
We have spotted many things about China though, some from the Adam Hart-Davis series What the Ancients Did For Us, which is a lovely way of consolidating what Ram has already learned from watching the TV programme .
How much more fun it is to read amusing books, and watch birds out of a window, to show how much you have learned, than taking a test in school!
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Today was our home educators meeting. Ram was very excited as usual and didn't settle in the morning as he was anxious about going.
We decided to have a sports day this week, so for our contribution we took our dress-up box. Ram doesn't often dress up anymore, but did go through a phase of using it a lot. We have in it some old clothes of mine, things from charity shops, some of my mother-in-law's things, and some odd things like net curtains and dog leads.
Don't ask why! I think we were just tidying up one day and that was the nearest box to put them in!
There were also some things that I had bought for themed parties that I used to go to in London. So my gangster's mole's costume was in there complete with fur stole. That lead to some interesting discussions! But that is all part of education; opening oneself to views other than one's own.
When we got there we put the box in the middle of the floor and immediately the kids started trying things on. Even the older boys had a go.
We then went outside and divided up into two teams. Ram refused to join in, which I was expecting. Usually I stand in for him in things like this. Sometimes he will watch what is going on, then take my place later.
First we played under over with the ball, then rolling it between all our legs. Then Ram and I ran the dress-up relay where each team has a costume that each person has to put on, run to the other end, take off, and then the next person puts it on.
By now Ram had lost it. He saw that some of the younger children were playing with his Bionicle sword. I had asked him specially if he wanted it left at home or kept in the box and he chose to take it. I did explain that other children may play with it and he accepted that.
I did have my reservations, but I think that children can make their own decisions. They don't always make the right ones, but they do have to learn to make them and figure out how to sort things out if the wrong one is make.
In this case the wrong one was made and I facilitated to help put it right. I explained to the other children that Ram was worried that it would get boken, and asked if they would mind if we put it away. They didn't mind at all! So I put it back in the car.
By then however, Ram had become so upset that he needed to cool down. He wasn't happy in the hall, and couldn't stay out in the yard as the games were still going on. So he went into the woods. He wanted to be alone but I wasn't comfortable with him in the woods on his own. It is very steep in places and I was worried that if he fell and hurt himself there was no one to come back and get help.
So I followed him in. I was a long way behind him because I had never been in the woods before, but eventually I found him. At first I thought that he was talking to someone else but then I realised that he was talking to himself! I couldn't hear what he was saying but he seemed calm again so I revealed myself and he showed me around the den. He was quite happy now, as if nothing had happened.
I felt really honoured that he let me see the secret place where the boys like to play!
By then the games were over and the other boys came in so I made a quick exit so that the boys could be boys together.
After all, even if I am a bit of a tomboy, and even if home educated young people enjoy the company of parents, there is still a time and place for being a boy on your own with your peers!
We decided to have a sports day this week, so for our contribution we took our dress-up box. Ram doesn't often dress up anymore, but did go through a phase of using it a lot. We have in it some old clothes of mine, things from charity shops, some of my mother-in-law's things, and some odd things like net curtains and dog leads.
Don't ask why! I think we were just tidying up one day and that was the nearest box to put them in!
There were also some things that I had bought for themed parties that I used to go to in London. So my gangster's mole's costume was in there complete with fur stole. That lead to some interesting discussions! But that is all part of education; opening oneself to views other than one's own.
When we got there we put the box in the middle of the floor and immediately the kids started trying things on. Even the older boys had a go.
We then went outside and divided up into two teams. Ram refused to join in, which I was expecting. Usually I stand in for him in things like this. Sometimes he will watch what is going on, then take my place later.
First we played under over with the ball, then rolling it between all our legs. Then Ram and I ran the dress-up relay where each team has a costume that each person has to put on, run to the other end, take off, and then the next person puts it on.
By now Ram had lost it. He saw that some of the younger children were playing with his Bionicle sword. I had asked him specially if he wanted it left at home or kept in the box and he chose to take it. I did explain that other children may play with it and he accepted that.
I did have my reservations, but I think that children can make their own decisions. They don't always make the right ones, but they do have to learn to make them and figure out how to sort things out if the wrong one is make.
In this case the wrong one was made and I facilitated to help put it right. I explained to the other children that Ram was worried that it would get boken, and asked if they would mind if we put it away. They didn't mind at all! So I put it back in the car.
By then however, Ram had become so upset that he needed to cool down. He wasn't happy in the hall, and couldn't stay out in the yard as the games were still going on. So he went into the woods. He wanted to be alone but I wasn't comfortable with him in the woods on his own. It is very steep in places and I was worried that if he fell and hurt himself there was no one to come back and get help.
So I followed him in. I was a long way behind him because I had never been in the woods before, but eventually I found him. At first I thought that he was talking to someone else but then I realised that he was talking to himself! I couldn't hear what he was saying but he seemed calm again so I revealed myself and he showed me around the den. He was quite happy now, as if nothing had happened.
I felt really honoured that he let me see the secret place where the boys like to play!
By then the games were over and the other boys came in so I made a quick exit so that the boys could be boys together.
After all, even if I am a bit of a tomboy, and even if home educated young people enjoy the company of parents, there is still a time and place for being a boy on your own with your peers!
Tuesday 3 July 2007
The Sound of Silence - or Why Mum Doesn't Answer
Today we had disabled swim. The county council has a scheme called The Key where you can register your disabled children and get advise and a few extras, one of which is free swimming at our local pool. Today we were supposed to have a photo taken but Ram is so stressed at the beginning that we asked if we could go straight in and sort out the photo card later.
I needed to go to the toilet so I left Ram in the changing cubicle for a few minutes. When I got back I had been expecting to see him in his swim trunks, but he was still standing there in his closes, seemingly not having moved from the spot where I left him!
I didn't say anything then because it was clear that he was stressed and not thinking clearly. When we got into the pool area we sat on the side for a few minutes and he was able to tell me that the getting changed and getting to into the pool is the worse bit, and that he is much better when he is in the pool.
We had a great time today, as there was no music like last week. We played with a ball which was fun. Throwing and catching a ball is important to develop their hand eye coordination, and it certainly has helped mine!
Getting out again was difficult, and he just seems to close down. He goes quiet and pale, but I can't really see what it is that it difficult, unless it is just the transition.
We then went out and had his photo taken for his pass. His last card for the swimming pool was blank because he refused to have his photo taken, so we have progressed here!
Our little bit of shopping wasn't too bad, but they didn't have his usual iced bun that he has at the bakery, so he chose crisps instead. They had loads of other things but he will have the same thing every time.
When we got home he went straight onto the computer to play Dawn of War again. I know that it probably seems like there is nothing educational about it, but I am sure there is. Just what, I am not sure yet, but one day he will come out with something that he will have learned from it.
We did talk later about why he didn't get changed when I was in the toilet, and he didn't really know why, but we have agreed that I have to leave him better instructions in future if I want him to get changed when I am not there.
We managed to get to bed early tonight! But Ram couldn't get to sleep. He was awake for sometime and I woke more than an hour after we had turned the lights out and he was still awake. There isn't much I can do for him but at least because we co-sleep it means that I know he is safe beside me. When he was younger he used to watch TV and when he was really little I used to have a four hour Thomas the Tank Engine video for when he couldn't sleep, so at least I could get some sleep.
Now he wants it absolutely black with no sound. Well, there is one sound, the sound of him talking to me, and the sound of me not replying because I am already asleep, then the even louder sound of him asking me why I haven't answered his questions!
I needed to go to the toilet so I left Ram in the changing cubicle for a few minutes. When I got back I had been expecting to see him in his swim trunks, but he was still standing there in his closes, seemingly not having moved from the spot where I left him!
I didn't say anything then because it was clear that he was stressed and not thinking clearly. When we got into the pool area we sat on the side for a few minutes and he was able to tell me that the getting changed and getting to into the pool is the worse bit, and that he is much better when he is in the pool.
We had a great time today, as there was no music like last week. We played with a ball which was fun. Throwing and catching a ball is important to develop their hand eye coordination, and it certainly has helped mine!
Getting out again was difficult, and he just seems to close down. He goes quiet and pale, but I can't really see what it is that it difficult, unless it is just the transition.
We then went out and had his photo taken for his pass. His last card for the swimming pool was blank because he refused to have his photo taken, so we have progressed here!
Our little bit of shopping wasn't too bad, but they didn't have his usual iced bun that he has at the bakery, so he chose crisps instead. They had loads of other things but he will have the same thing every time.
When we got home he went straight onto the computer to play Dawn of War again. I know that it probably seems like there is nothing educational about it, but I am sure there is. Just what, I am not sure yet, but one day he will come out with something that he will have learned from it.
We did talk later about why he didn't get changed when I was in the toilet, and he didn't really know why, but we have agreed that I have to leave him better instructions in future if I want him to get changed when I am not there.
We managed to get to bed early tonight! But Ram couldn't get to sleep. He was awake for sometime and I woke more than an hour after we had turned the lights out and he was still awake. There isn't much I can do for him but at least because we co-sleep it means that I know he is safe beside me. When he was younger he used to watch TV and when he was really little I used to have a four hour Thomas the Tank Engine video for when he couldn't sleep, so at least I could get some sleep.
Now he wants it absolutely black with no sound. Well, there is one sound, the sound of him talking to me, and the sound of me not replying because I am already asleep, then the even louder sound of him asking me why I haven't answered his questions!
Monday 2 July 2007
A Parents' Education
Another Dad day today, and respite for me. Not that I will actually get a rest!
Ram and Dxh went straight onto the computer today. Ram doesn't need as much help when he is on the computer as when he was younger, especially now he can read, but he still needs someone close by. So Dxh spent the day going through the filing cabinet. He took out statements that were more than 10 years old, pulled out all the old letters from the banks advising on rate changes that were blank on one side so that we could reuse the paper in the printer, and increased my pile of paper I use to write notes on.
The rest of it he took home with him to shred. He will then bring it back to put in the compost bins. Years ago I did a members experiment with Garden Organic. We had to put layers of scrunched up paper between the layers of grass cuttings to see if this made better compost. It did! We have carried on doing it this way ever since, and I am grateful that my respite carer is also the Dxh so that I can trust him to go through my filing and sort it all out for me. Filing is just one thing that I never get around to.
While the boys were in the study I did dishes and cleaned the kitchen, and then waited for the inevitable phone call from Sainsbury's to say that they would be late with the home delivery. And it came! So we decide to carry on and have lunch. Actually, I gave the boys the option of having lunch before they arrived, after, or during. They chose during!
And during it happened!
The man only came in for a minute but Ram's behaviour changed instantly. He was hiding behind his chair, and when I asked him to pass me the pile of plastic bags to give to the man to take back with him, Ram picked them up and threw then in the opposite direction, even though I told him that he wouldn't have to go near the man but only give them to me!
Goodness knows what this delivery man thought, but he couldn't get out fast enough!
After lunch the boys when back to the computer and the filing, and I went for my nap then into town to get some things for next week when our friends arrive. Not only did I need to get some meat from the butcher for that week, but also for the next couple of weeks because the man who usually serves me will be on holiday. It is easier to get extra now than to have to explain to someone else how we like our gammons and dog food. And it also means that I won't have to go into town with Ram while the schools are out. There is nothing like school children running around to get Ram stressed!
I got back and had to go out almost straight away to the osteopath. He said that a lot of people are having joint problems at the moment because of the high humidity. He also said that he is finding some people have now cut back so much on their salt that they are not getting enough, and I realise that could be us! I don't cook with salt and we have very little processed food, so I will have to increase my salt a little and see if it helps.
The silly thing is I probably shouldn't be cutting back on my salt intake anyway as I have low blood pressure already!
But all these little things that I pick up when I am out I can then bring back and discuss with Ram so that his education isn't just what we do at home, but what his parents do when they are out and about.
Ram and Dxh went straight onto the computer today. Ram doesn't need as much help when he is on the computer as when he was younger, especially now he can read, but he still needs someone close by. So Dxh spent the day going through the filing cabinet. He took out statements that were more than 10 years old, pulled out all the old letters from the banks advising on rate changes that were blank on one side so that we could reuse the paper in the printer, and increased my pile of paper I use to write notes on.
The rest of it he took home with him to shred. He will then bring it back to put in the compost bins. Years ago I did a members experiment with Garden Organic. We had to put layers of scrunched up paper between the layers of grass cuttings to see if this made better compost. It did! We have carried on doing it this way ever since, and I am grateful that my respite carer is also the Dxh so that I can trust him to go through my filing and sort it all out for me. Filing is just one thing that I never get around to.
While the boys were in the study I did dishes and cleaned the kitchen, and then waited for the inevitable phone call from Sainsbury's to say that they would be late with the home delivery. And it came! So we decide to carry on and have lunch. Actually, I gave the boys the option of having lunch before they arrived, after, or during. They chose during!
And during it happened!
The man only came in for a minute but Ram's behaviour changed instantly. He was hiding behind his chair, and when I asked him to pass me the pile of plastic bags to give to the man to take back with him, Ram picked them up and threw then in the opposite direction, even though I told him that he wouldn't have to go near the man but only give them to me!
Goodness knows what this delivery man thought, but he couldn't get out fast enough!
After lunch the boys when back to the computer and the filing, and I went for my nap then into town to get some things for next week when our friends arrive. Not only did I need to get some meat from the butcher for that week, but also for the next couple of weeks because the man who usually serves me will be on holiday. It is easier to get extra now than to have to explain to someone else how we like our gammons and dog food. And it also means that I won't have to go into town with Ram while the schools are out. There is nothing like school children running around to get Ram stressed!
I got back and had to go out almost straight away to the osteopath. He said that a lot of people are having joint problems at the moment because of the high humidity. He also said that he is finding some people have now cut back so much on their salt that they are not getting enough, and I realise that could be us! I don't cook with salt and we have very little processed food, so I will have to increase my salt a little and see if it helps.
The silly thing is I probably shouldn't be cutting back on my salt intake anyway as I have low blood pressure already!
But all these little things that I pick up when I am out I can then bring back and discuss with Ram so that his education isn't just what we do at home, but what his parents do when they are out and about.
Sunday 1 July 2007
A Doctor Who Masternind
Ram slept late again this morning. But at least there is nothing more
to do than to read in bed! Ram finds the heat of the day too much so
last year when he slept late, and then we read in bed and were not up
until 11, he had missed the cool part of the day. But of course this
year we haven't had a summer, just rain, so it hasn't matter so much.
Once we were up and about Ram decided to watch Doctor Who from the first of the new series with Christopher Ecclestone.
But before the series started there was one of the old Doctor Who
films, and then some programmes that were broadcast in the build up to
the New Doctor Who starting. He watch all through those and kept
calling out things of interest such as the history of The Master and so
on.
I hadn't realised how much he had memorised when watching
these things the first time as he kept calling me in saying things
like, 'The Doctor is about to say...' and he would quote him, and then
the Doctor would say exactly that!
And he has found a reference to Bad Wolf that no one else seems to have noticed!
Rather than sit with him the whole time I decided that I would update my blog
and carry on sorting out things to get ready for our friends.
I know it may seem odd that I don't update my blog for days, then
suddenly there are several days worth at once, as if I have made it all
up, but it isn't quite like that. I always compose in Open Office so that I can use
the big spell checker, and also so it is easy to keep a copy. I often
make little notes during the day, or start a day, then go back to it
later. But I don't always get a chance to go through it and upload it.
So I took this afternoon to get caught up with things.
Ram kept watching right until bed time. I knew that today would have to be a quiet day for him as we had Dxh yesterday, and I know that it may seem like he is watching too much TV,
but sometimes it is nice to get a break from him, as when he is
watching TV I don't have to interact with him constantly.
I don't think he could win Master Mind with his Doctor Who knowledge, but he wouldn't embarrass himself!
to do than to read in bed! Ram finds the heat of the day too much so
last year when he slept late, and then we read in bed and were not up
until 11, he had missed the cool part of the day. But of course this
year we haven't had a summer, just rain, so it hasn't matter so much.
Once we were up and about Ram decided to watch Doctor Who from the first of the new series with Christopher Ecclestone.
But before the series started there was one of the old Doctor Who
films, and then some programmes that were broadcast in the build up to
the New Doctor Who starting. He watch all through those and kept
calling out things of interest such as the history of The Master and so
on.
I hadn't realised how much he had memorised when watching
these things the first time as he kept calling me in saying things
like, 'The Doctor is about to say...' and he would quote him, and then
the Doctor would say exactly that!
And he has found a reference to Bad Wolf that no one else seems to have noticed!
Rather than sit with him the whole time I decided that I would update my blog
and carry on sorting out things to get ready for our friends.
I know it may seem odd that I don't update my blog for days, then
suddenly there are several days worth at once, as if I have made it all
up, but it isn't quite like that. I always compose in Open Office so that I can use
the big spell checker, and also so it is easy to keep a copy. I often
make little notes during the day, or start a day, then go back to it
later. But I don't always get a chance to go through it and upload it.
So I took this afternoon to get caught up with things.
Ram kept watching right until bed time. I knew that today would have to be a quiet day for him as we had Dxh yesterday, and I know that it may seem like he is watching too much TV,
but sometimes it is nice to get a break from him, as when he is
watching TV I don't have to interact with him constantly.
I don't think he could win Master Mind with his Doctor Who knowledge, but he wouldn't embarrass himself!
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