One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Like many people with SEN or disabled children, when they reach a milestone or learn something new, it is a time for celebration. Sometimes it is the smallest thing, something that others will take for granted because their children will have mastered this long ago, that gets us excited. But then sometimes when you think about it, you realise that in the grand scheme of things maybe it isn't so good after all!

Normally when the dxh comes on Saturdays he brings the papers for us as we don't have any home delivery or shops here. Last week the dxh couldn't come up on Saturday so I told Ram that we would have to drive to the next village and get the papers ourselves. At the last minute Ram decided he didn't want to come and stayed home on his own! This is a big thing for him, as normally he doesn't even like me going next door, let alone to the next village.

Then the following week we had to do the same, only by the time Ram had got up they had sold out of The Telegraph. So I suggested that next time I go while he is still asleep and he agreed.

I was amazed and so pleased! Finally at age 14 he is comfortable with staying alone for short periods of time! But then I thought about it, and realised the down side. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. By staying home when I go out to get the papers, it will mean that there is one more time when he isn't getting outside the house and seeing other people.

Then today we went to town to get our monthly rations of gammon (the only meat that Ram will eat. Well, you didn't think he would eat lamb did you?) I gave him the option of staying in the car which he has previously refused to do, but this time he decided to stay on his own in the car! Result! My boy is growing up!

But wait. Yes, this also means that yet again he is not getting out and interacting with other people. We now have almost all food and other things delivered to the house, and there is no other reason for him to go out except the home education group once a week.

So one step forward, he is happy to stay by himself for short peroids of time, but two steps back, he has also managed to isolate himself from people even more.

Oh well, he has said that when he grows up he wants to be a hermit!