I didn't know how today was going to go, and was worried that it wouldn't be a good one because we had a visit to the dentist, but I was pleasantly surprised!
Last time we went to the dentist Ram had a meltdown. He has never been happy about going there. First of all there is the smell. Once I turned round to find him sitting there with a finger up each nostril to keep the smell out! Then there is the sound from people and machines. And worst of all is people touching him.
I forget that Ram is sensory defensive because he is ok with me and Dxh touching him, but no one else can. So last time when I told him that the dentist wouldn't put anything in his mouth, he took it literally, also something that children with Asperger's do, and thought that included fingers, even though I only meant tools!
The moment that the dentist touched him he flipped out. You could see him go pale and start to shake. We had Dxh with us so he took Ram straight out to a play park to calm down, and I stayed to sign the papers and talk with the dentist about it. She is a lovely lady, with several children and grandchildren and really understands special needs children. We decided to have Ram come back again not only to see if we could get him to relax a bit and have a more positive experience, but also to meet the new dentist who is taking over from the old one!
So today was the day. Ram was not happy about it but we had talked on and off for months, planning exactly how it would go. We took our Dr Who book to read to take his mind off waiting, then went in to the consulting room with him in his buggy. I explained to the dentist in front of Ram exactly how he felt last time, and how he thought I had lied to him when I said that she wouldn't put anything in his mouth.
This time he stayed in his buggy, and she started with the mirror about a foot away from his mouth, then slowly moved it closer asking him if it was alright. It was the basic cognitive behaviour therapy approach. She got to within three inches of his face when he felt it was close enough. He then opened wide and let her look in, but wouldn't let her touch him.
He was fine with that, which I was really relieved about! It means that we had a positive experience so that next time it should be even better. The new dentist was there watching and I only hope she remembers next time we go. Luckily both Ram and I have really good teeth, so hopefully we will only ever need check ups.
When we got outside I told Ram that I was very proud of him. I asked him if it would make him feel better inside if I gave him a hug or kiss. But no, the only thing that would make him feel good inside was Lego!
We then went to the The House of Cheese, a shop that sells, yes, cheese! And we had the same old joke that we get every time from Ram: if it is a house of cheese why can't we eat it! They are lovely in there and they know that Ram has Asperger's and always treat him well. They let him try the cheeses before we buy. Today we just got sheep and goat cheeses to see if Dxh's sensitivity to milk is cow only, or extends to other animals.
Then we went to the bakery where Ram always has a meringue after the dentist (shhhh....don't tell her!) but they didn't have any! Ram didn't want to leave without something, but only wanted a meringue and couldn't shift to anything else. After about 5 minutes he finally chose two pieces of shortbread, as he figured they had as much sugar as one meringue! Luckily there were no other customers with us so he didn't get two distressed.
We had two sirens to deal with. First an ambulance and then a fire engine which went right along side us. Both times I had to stop and put my hands over his ears. One day Ram might learn to do it himself, but the loud noise seems to stop him from being able to think. By the time we got back to the car we were both frazzled, Ram from the noise and me from helping him cope with the noise as well as the changes and challenges. Both of us agreed that living in the countryside is much quieter than living in town.
We had lots of deliveries waiting for us when we got back, including some vegetable plants I had ordered and a new computer game that Ram saw reviewed in Education Otherwise's children's pages of the Newsletter. It was supposed to be for when the carpenter comes to finish the kitchen but as the plants needed planted I let him start it today so that I could get out in the garden. He normally can't cope with me working in the garden, but when he is engrossed with a computer game he doesn't see to notice.
After Spring Watch and a little more computer game, we went up to bed. I was still in the bathroom and Ram had gone into the bedroom, when I heard the sheep next door baaing. Then I heard Ram answering them! We ended up in hysterics with the sheep and Ram having a conversation!
Ram likes sheep and thinks of himself as one. I guess you don't need to wonder how he got his nickname any more!
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